Episode Transcript
Common Mystics Podcast
Season 2 Episode 20: Bonus- Connecting with Loved Ones in Spirit
www.commonmystics.net
00:00:09 On this special Christmas episode of Common Mystics, we discuss how during the holiday season, we honor our loved ones who've passed. I'm Jennifer James. I'm Jill Stanley. We're psychics. We’re sisters. We're Common Mystics. We're excited to be talking to you today. Before we get started, Jen, I need your help. Oh, okay. I am a member of the Michigan Recycling Coalition and the Michigan Recycling Coalition has a campaign called Recycle Michigan. I think people should go to recycle michigan.org and click on the link that says, “join us,” and scroll all the way down. Then, go to the store, the Recycle Michigan store, and purchase some fun merch. Ah, and where does our money go? If you go and purchase merch from Recycle Michigan, it helps develop recycling in the state of Michigan. I see. And if we were to become a member, what would we get? Newsletters?
00:01:15 You'll get handy tips about how to sort your trash, where the access to recycling is in your state, because believe it or not, a lot of parts of Michigan don't have an infrastructure for recycling. Believe it or not. Interesting. So by becoming a member, I would then get education to help create a better world? Yes, exactly. Right. And if you, let's say you had a recycler in your family and they were coming to your house, you wouldn't have to hide your trash anymore because you will know you have the tools. Well, if my recycling family member didn't snoop in my trash and then lecture me, I wouldn't have to hide it from her. Wow. Wow. That got personal. Anyway. Anyway. No.
00:02:00 What a great cause. Great idea. Please go to Recycle Michigan.org and check them out. Thanks so much guys. Now back to our programming. So, the holidays! The holidays, the holidays, Jill. I know I'm so over it, I'm going to be real. The holidays are tough for a lot of people. It's supposed to be the most wonderful time of year, magical, goodwill, yada, yada, yada. But the elephant in the room is that we are sad now. I mean, it is what it is. It's it's fucking sad. Okay? I don't know what else to say, but what I find sad…
00:02:43 We really are sad. I'm sorry. I can't help it. And that's why we're having this conversation because it makes me happier to talk to my sister. No, no. I think a lot of people are probably feeling the same, like it sucks. It sucks. Don't cry. Are you crying? Jill? No, I’m trying to fix my sound settings. Hold on. Oh, okay. No, Jill, I think that's completely legit. Like we're sad. A lot of people are sad. Let's talk about the grief. For sure, there's grief. There's grief. It's been a rough year, man. You know, if you go online, you can find a lot of different resources that tell you ways to handle grief during the holidays. Remember when we were researching this? Yeah, it was really depressing. They would give you like, the worst advice.
00:03:41 It's like, get drunk and watch or look at pictures of people that died. Yeah. Well, did it really say to get drunk? No, it didn't really say to get drunk. Well, if you read between the lines, Jen. Well,.... well, anyway. I'm not going to go there. No, but some of the recommendations were like, go to the cemetery and have your own little service for your loved ones there. I wouldn't do that. Don't do that. That’s sad. I mean, if that works for you, you do it. You do you. If that works, you do whatever. When I….
00:04:19 When we go to a lot of cemeteries, [We sure do} but when we go, but when I go to the cemetery to visit like, our, our family, it is… it's bad. It's really bad. I like, want to roll around on all of their graves just to get close to them.
00:04:30 And then like, I start singing cause like, all of our life, our family, this is true. Our family would like, line us up and make us sing for them. So, I started singing at the grave site and one time, this really happened, I started singing the song that we were singing while Mom was passing. Like we were singing our song, and I got three syllables into this song, and I started ugly crying in a very loud way. And I feel like I was embarrassing them in spirit because I had this overwhelming sensation to be like, stop and turn around. Like it was so powerful that I literally thought I was going to turn around and see mom standing there. So in mid sob, I turned around full on ugly face frozen. And there's a man, there's a man standing there looking at me like, worried.
00:05:21 It was super embarrassing. I believe that that happened. And I think the bottom line is do what works for you. Those suggestions don't work for us. You and I have other ways to deal with our grief over losing our loved ones, you know, particularly during the holiday season. But, um, we're also not professional grief counselors. So I do want to say, if you are really feeling the effects of your grief and really depressed, please reach out to a professional. We're not professionals, but we are psychics, and we have some, uh, some strategies that work for us. Yeah. Yeah. And I think what's funny about us is that when we were preparing for this episode, we had to really think like, how are we dealing with grief, right? Yeah, yeah. We were legitimately like, how do we do it? And what we realized is that we talk about our loved ones on the other side quite a bit.
00:06:21 And we tell funny stories, well, the stories that I find amusing about them and, and experiences that we had with them. Right. I think what maybe sets us apart from other people who aren't aware of their own psychic abilities is that you and I, 100% believe that we are communicating with our people on the other side, just by thinking about them. Like we really 100% know this to be true. That's true. Yeah. I think that's a big difference. So for you and me, we're talking to Mom, Grandma, Genie, Grandpa, like in our heads all the time. Right. All day, every day. All day, every day. Right. Can you give us an example of how you bring Mom to you in spirit, just by thinking about her? So like, if anything goes on in my life, when Mom was alive, I would call Mom. I was always on the phone with Mom.
00:07:17 And so the same thing I do in spirit, when something's going on, I, I, I call out to her in my head like, Mom, can you believe this? Whether it be a stupid driver, whether it be an issue I'm having at work or if just even, even amusing things like things that I laugh at, I know Mom's with me laughing too. You know what I mean? It's just, I just, she's just always, I feel like I carry her around with me. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I do too. I do too. But I also recognize that some people who aren't like us, who don't believe that that's automatically happening, might need some more structure to practice. What would you suggest? Well, I think, um, I was at your house a few years ago, and I was talking to one of your friends whom I didn't know very well.
00:08:09 And she had lost her mother and I was telling her just what we just talked about, you know, bring her to mind when you think of her. You know, ask her a question, you'll… you will be communicating with her, for real. And she's like, yeah, but how do I know that it's really my mom and not just my own imagination. And I, in that moment when I was having this conversation with her, I was ready to say, yeah, no, I get ya. I don't, I don't know either. I don't know, you know?
00:08:45 But all of a sudden I had an answer for her and it was like someone opened my brain and put the information in. And I was suddenly able to just explain this meditation that she should do, and I'll share it with everybody now, because again, I don't believe this came from me.
00:09:03 I believe that it came from spirit. So what I told her was to set up a time to meditate regularly. And when she meditates to imagine the white light of heaven, the white light of God, and then imagine the loved one that she's wanting to communicate with and to experience again, imagine that loved one walking out of the light towards her, and then imagine herself approaching her loved one and embracing her loved one and to pay attention to the subtle signs, the subtle, physical and emotional responses that happen when she embraces her loved one. She's going to feel happy and she's going to feel warm. And there are going to be subtle physical differences too, like she might feel an arm on her shoulder or hair against her cheek or something subtle, but profound and keep doing that meditation over and over again. And that way in everyday life, when you communicate, when you call that loved one to mind just in everyday life, when you're not in that meditation moment, you will start to experience those emotional and physical responses.
00:10:14 And that's how you're going to know that it's not just, just your imagination. It really is communication with spirit. And it'll start feeling just like, Hey, that's just Mom. That's just how Mom feels when she comes to me. Does that make sense? Yes. I love it. And we talk about a lot, um, two things, we talk about building a bridge to the other side, to make that communication, um, easier. And that's what you're describing by meditating and doing that structured meditation, you're creating that path. And the more you use the path, just like if you're walking on grass, the more that path is visible and easier to access. Oh, what a great analogy. I love that. But Jill, a lot of people don't like that sort of still meditation experience. That's tied for a lot of people. What do you do? Oh my gosh.
00:11:06 Well, um, I, I like to think of myself as an athlete. Oh, do you now? I like to think of myself as a supermodel. Go on. Um, but I do try to run. And so when I'm running that rhythmic, um, like whether it be on a treadmill or outside, I literally, because let's face it. I'm not, I'm not an athlete. So, I'm calling Mom and Grandma and I can picture them sitting around Grandma's kitchen table. I can smell the smells in the room. I can, I see where Mom's sitting. I see where Grandma's sitting. I know where Grandpa is in the house and where Genie is sitting at the table. And I just create an experience in my mind's eye of just like a Saturday morning at Grandma's house. Yeah. I also do that when I'm driving anything rhythmic, anything to get me out of my… like, it just feels… .
00:12:00 No… Yeah. Active meditation is totally a thing. Anytime I'm doing something rhythmic, like jogging or even something like sewing or, or knitting, not that I sew or knit, but any sort of like, rhythmic activity. I like to go to Goodwill. That's what I was just going to say. I like to shop. She likes to shop. It’s a problem. It is a problem. Even just the rhythmic, like moving the hangers, ch ch ch ch you know, like that gets me into that meditation, like that active physical meditation place where I'll be picking things up and communicating with spirits. So, whatever works for you, but yeah, no, totally. I love what you said about creating that pathway and using that pathway. And it just gets easier once it gets easier. And once it becomes almost automatic, it's easier to believe that it's real, right? Because it is real. It feels to me, it's like, my superpower.
00:12:55 It's my magic. It's like, when I'm in a room, I'm just not by myself. I have a whole gang of spirits on the other side helping me and propelling me forward. So it's comforting. Totally. I don't walk alone. I don't walk alone.
00:13:08 So, we can call our loved ones to us in spirit, and we've talked about some different ways to do that, but what's another way to kind of take it to the next level? What do you mean? Well, when you're thinking about your loved ones, they're there and it's real, but when you can talk and, like you said earlier, talk to someone else and share, you know, stories about them and share that joy, I do think it's kind of amplified, that spirit. I think it's like multiplied almost.
00:13:36 Because it's like the saying from the Bible, when you gather in a group to pray, it means more and just sharing in that experience. I don't remember the exact quote from the Bible, but sharing that experience, bringing or calling to mind, telling stories, gathering and discussing a family member who is passed in spirit, it almost contextualizes it. It makes it, it just amplifies that love that I'm experiencing in my heart. You're feeling it, too. And it almost brings her to life, if we're talking about Mom. It brings her back to us. Did you want to tell some stories about Mom today?
00:14:17 I like Mom's stories. Um, let's talk about Christmas first. Let's talk about holiday stories about, like, our favorite holiday memories. You go first. Do it. Well, our Aunt Genie was a huge presence in our lives, especially growing up. Genie was like, just talk about shopping problem. Genie had a shopping problem and a lot of the beneficiaries of her shopping problem were us. Right. It's true. True story. So I remember being a little stink on Christmas, opening up, um, uh, Cabbage Patch Kid doll. My Cabbage Patch kid dial was named Ollie. It was a boy. And I remember Genie telling the story about how she got Ollie and the other Cabbage Patch Kids for our siblings, and she was a straight up gangster. She was savage. She like, stood in line and she had this, she stood in line at like, Black Friday, and she had this weather proof coat.
00:15:13 Right. You can hear, “shhh shhh shhhh shhh” like when she would walk. And she would like, use it and slip past people to get to the dolls. She would do like, this shimmy. And she would like, grab them up and she would be like a straight up savage and like, was making she was getting everything that she wanted for us that day. I remember the story and she was telling it to Mom and it's just funny. And it made Ollie so much more special. She meant business, and she had to be cut throat because Cabbage Patch Kids were hot in the eighties when she got them for us. They were sold out everywhere. And part of that is that we didn't have a dad, and Mom was trying to raise us by herself during those, during that time that she was with us.
00:15:58 And she almost, between her and mom, they overcompensated. And it just meant so much to us at the time. I think that the story of Genie being savage in the store getting me Ollie meant more to me than the doll. I don't know where the doll is. I don't know what happened to the doll, but I still have that story. Just remembering, opening him up and feeling like this is so special. She went through a lot for us. Yeah. I love that. What holiday memories do you have? Well, I remember, so Genie and Mom would go crazy shopping during Christmas time. And then, because I was the oldest, I would be responsible with them for wrapping the presents on Christmas Eve night. And so the Christmas tree was in the front room of the house, the living room. And that’s Chicago talk for the living room.
00:16:49 And we would all be wrapping in the rec room, in the back room with the fireplace. Right. And so they would wrap and then I would be the runner. And I would run the wrapped gifts from the rec room to the front room, under the tree. And so there's one Christmas Eve, it was so late. I know it was after midnight and I'm the runner and I'm running back and forth and back and forth. And I'm filling the area under the tree. And then I'm filling the room and the room is getting more and more full until I finally come back to the rec room and I'm like, you guys need to stop. There's no more room in the room. And they look at me and they're like, what? You're exaggerating. I'm like, no, I'm not exaggerating. And so they both get up off the floor.
00:17:29 Cause they're like, you know, sitting on the floor, wrapping gifts. They get up off the floor and I'm like, look you guys. And we all just start laughing because literally you could not walk into the room. There were that many gifts. It was like 500 gifts that year. It was crazy. It was a good year. It was a good year that year. Cause you could literally not get to the front door. I know, you couldn't get to the front door. What do you remember about Christmas as a kid? I loved Midnight Mass. Just a side note. Didn’t you love going to midnight mass? It was special. It was very special. They played all the best music at Midnight Mass. They did. They broke out all the greatest Christmas carols for Midnight Mass. Oh, what's your favorite Christmas carol? I really like, “Oh, Holy Night.” Mmm hmmm . That's a good one. And I also like “Hark the Herald Angels Sing.”
00:18:16 I like that one too. Uh, so on Christmas Eve we would spend it with our family. We would do the presents and then we would get dressed up for Midnight Mass, but Christmas day, right? We would go over to Grandma's house. Right. And Grandma would be cooking. So you'd walk in and the whole house would be steamy. Right? Right. The windows would be foggy. The smells. Oh, the smells of the Polish sausage and the garlic. It was just, it's magical. Oh my gosh. The best mashed potatoes in the entire world. Sauerkraut. Chicken soup. All the smells, even like lemon babka. Pound cake. Lemon babka. That was so good.
00:18:59 And then I just remember being so full and laying on the floor, watching TV after having eaten. And just listening to the sound of people speaking Polish in the next room. It was just so comforting. And laughing. And laughing and laughing. Yeah. I just love the smells. I can smell it now, I swear. Right. So while things were calm on Christmas day, our home was always so hectic with Mom preparing for Christmas. Do you remember what she used to do? Explain what our crazy mother used to do. Our mom was manic, like seriously, and she wasn't a clean freak, but no, she would not allow us to decorate a dirty house. So she, like, it was a thing, like she would scrub, like really scrub the house from top to bottom. No joke. I'm not even kidding. I was scrubbing the house along with her. When I got older, I did.
00:20:01 Okay. So picture buckets of Pine Sol water and rags and washing every wall. Picture those metal baseboards and the old Chicago houses. Okay. Taking them apart and scrubbing them with toothbrushes, getting all the dust out of them. It was crazy. And the walls, I hate it. I would always clean the walls. It was so overboard. It's the worst. Everything had to be so spotless before she would put a piece of tinsel up or any sort of decoration. But when, after she would– Oh oh, oh… the chandelier. I dipped crystal by crystal into ammonia. Everything had to be spotless. I'm sorry. The chandelier. The chandelier is beautiful. It was beautiful. Anyway, after it was clean though, and the house smelled like Pledge and Pine Sol, she would just decorate it so special. It was like the house was glowing from the inside out. Every, every spot had a special little vignette of like Christmas.
00:21:08 There would be like, Mrs. And Mr. Claus. There would be the Nativity scene. Okay. Our Nativity scene, she had that spun glass around it. Yeah. That was a bad choice. Owie! Yeah because to me, a nativity scene is kind of like a little Jesus playset. You’re going straight to Hell. You move the characters around when Mom's not home. You move the characters around. Well, hello baby Jesus. You know what I mean? Like it's, it's a playset. That’s how the angel broke, by the way. So to put spun glass around it, it is quite the trap because that shit itches. I'm just saying. It's like fiberglass. You can get like, fiberglass in your hands. I don’t know what she was thinking. Was she really thinking we weren't going to touch it or go into that room after it was clean? I know, we weren't supposed to. I know we weren’t supposed to. Anyway, No, I know. You’re right, but after the child labor was over, she really did make the house super special.
00:22:09 So, I have a question. I just thought about this when we were talking about the little Nativity scene. What? The song, “Mary, Did You Know?” That song makes me angry. Jill, we are not going to talk shit about Christmas carols right now. No, that's a stupid song because Mary was the first to know, and it really should be like, “Joseph, Do You Believe This Shit?” Like honestly. Like honestly, that's what the song should be. What are the lyrics that you have an issue with? Mary, did you know? The angel came to Mary and told her first. She was the first to know. She was the first to know. Like, yeah. Someone didn't read their Bible that the whole song is based on. It's just so stupid. It gets me angry. All right. Well, I'm sorry. All right. Do you need a minute?
00:22:54 Are you ready to move forward? No. No. But seriously, like, doesn't it feel better just talking about these people? I feel like we're conjuring them up and that they're here in spirit with us just by telling these stories. I know they’re here with us. I love it. I can hear Genie's jacket. That makes me happy. The “shhh shhh shhh shhh.” Oh my gosh. I love it. Anyway, what's another good Mom story? . Well, my favorite Mom story of all doesn't have anything to do with Christmas. Is it fair game? Yeah, please. Okay. Okay. It involves you, you and me, and the time that we took her on a trip. Oh my God. It was the last trip we took together. It was absolutely the last trip that we took together. I know. Oh, okay. Well first let me tell you this, you guys. Yeah, you set it up. You set it up. Okay. So, Mom had gotten sick. Remember in December, 2010.
00:23:44 So this was in 2013. It was. So, Mom was not handicapped, but she had limitations as far as her physicality. Right. She never bounced back a hundred percent after she had sepsis. Right. So we, Jen and I, were on the phone and we had, we were like, okay, we want to do this. Where should we go with Mom? What would be a good Mom trip? And where did we decide on? Salem, Massachusetts, for obvious reasons. For obvious reasons we had to go somewhere with a witchy, ghosty vibe. Yeah, absolutely. So we did the research. We're like, first we're like brainstorming. We're like, what is going to be important for this trip? No stairs. Right? Right. Because Mom could not do stairs. She was physically limited at that time. Right. And then we wanted somewhere that seemed haunted AF, of course. For obvious reasons. So we're like, bed and breakfast, but we needed a bed and breakfast that had someone accessible overnight.
00:24:47 Right. Because we were going to drive there and we didn't know what time we were going to get there. We did not know what time we were going to arrive, but we knew it was going to be really late. Right. And we had to have three grown ass adults in one room together. Exactly. To be able to sleep comfortably, right? The room had to accommodate three big people. That's accurate. Yeah. Yeah. So together, we made the phone calls and I'm so glad because I swear to God, if I would have done this by myself and the shit happened the way it did, I would have blamed you. A hundred percent. Yeah, yeah. 100%. So, Jen and I are on the phone together and we're calling around, and we find this, this old BNB in Salem, Massachusetts, like in the downtown area, like around downtown. And we're like, this looks amazing, but we had to make sure they checked all the boxes.
00:25:35 So, we called and we're like, okay, steps. Tell me about them. They're like, no steps. You'll be on the first floor. It's not a big deal at all. Yeah. We'll put you on the first floor. Steps won't be a problem. Wonderful. What about someone being there overnight? Cause we're not sure when we're going to get there and this looks like just a house. So is there a front desk? Oh my God. Call our number. Someone's going to be available to you, 24/7. Someone will be here waiting for you. No matter what time, someone's going to answer that phone and be able to help you. All right. Check that box done. And then lastly, um, the room that we saw online, the pictures only look like it can accommodate two people, but we're going to have three to a room. Is there a way, like, is there a pullout bed?
00:26:17 What do we do? And they said that they were going to bring a roll-in mattress. Roll-in cot. Like yeah, they're going to bring it into it. It's going to be in the room, waiting for us upon arrival. Oh, we can work with that. Yeah, for sure. So, check, check, check. It was super, super affordable. It was cute. It looked haunted. It did look haunted. It did look haunted. So, we leave my house in Michigan and this was before Siri was a thing. A real active thing, at least in my life. And satellite navigation. And satellite navigation. So, Jen and I are looking at a map and I'm like, straight up, Canada is a shortcut. We're going to go through Canada. You know? And that's fair because if you're looking at a map and you draw a straight line with a crayon from Battle Creek, Michigan to Salem, Massachusetts, you go through Canada.
00:27:10 Why not? Why not? Just that's the most direct. As the Crow flies, it is straight up through Canada. So, that's what we do. Yeah, except that was a mistake. I love our Canadian listeners. I love you guys so much. Thank you for listening, but I got to tell you. When we went through Canada, it turns out that it’s not a shortcut. Not a shortcut. Canada is not a shortcut. Don't do it. Don't do it. Go around the lakes, Americans. It's beautiful. It’s scenic. Go around the lakes, go South around the lakes. You will, you will thank us. You will. Just take our word for it. We weren't expecting the traffic at the borders. We weren't expecting to be sitting in traffic at the borders. All right. Our bad. It wasn't so bad. Siri didn't tell us about that backup because Siri didn't exist. She existed, but she wasn't accessible to us. Like she was like, bougie. But the highlight for me of that drive, is me behind the wheel.
00:28:13 Okay. I need to stop you. She’s not an aggressive driver. Being the defensive driver that I am. She's not an aggressive driver, you guys. She was telling me, there was traffic. Are you going to tell this? Yeah. I'm telling, I'm telling this. Jennifer is a very safe driver. Most of the time. Jennifer is not aggressive at all, except for the one time you almost killed us, [Once] but that's fine. Okay. Okay. Okay. Anyway, so we are in construction in Canada and Jen– everyone has to merge into one lane to get over. No one was letting me in. Jennifer, instead of like, scooting and trying to get in, Jennifer was full on stopped to the left, while everyone was going around us for like 45 minutes. And she's like, excuse me. Excuse me because she believes that someone's going to be like, everyone, stop. Well, Canada’s our friendly neighbors to the North. Everybody says how nice they are. I was expecting someone to be like, oh sorry. Hey, they had places to be places to be.
00:29:16 Jill is hanging out of the back passenger side window to her waist, bending out of the car, flailing her arms and yelling, “Are you kidding me?!” Really, that really, really happened. That really did. It is not an exaggeration, That is not an exaggeration. I had to do something. I felt so helpless. I felt so helpless. I'm just sitting there for 40 minutes. So, what happened next? So we switched at some point. Oh yes, because I was done with Jennifer driving. I was like, if we gotta go somewhere, I'm taking the wheel. And so I'm driving and we are in the middle of the night, driving through the mountains of New York state. Mom was navigating and on the passenger side. Mom was supposed to be. We had a little Garmin. What do you call it? The navigation thing that you would buy at Walmart before they were integrated in the cars. Oh yeah. A little GPS thing anyway.
00:30:20 Yeah. So Mom was supposed to be on that and she had a map in her hands. She had the address in, but it's not recognizing where we are. So she also has MapQuest directions on her lap, and we literally are in nowhere, New York state. And it's dark and there are no lights. And so I am tired, AF, and I'm looking to my mom to give me some kind of direction. Like, don't worry, we're almost there or this is how far we are. Like, whatever, whatever. Right. So I am lost and Mom gets a phone call from Frank and she says, [her boyfriend] her boyfriend.. She says, I'm just going to say goodnight to him. Okay. That sounds reasonable.That should take like a minute, maybe. What I wasn't thinking about because I was tired is that Mom saying goodnight to Frank takes 30 fucking minutes because he says good night and I love you in every European language and she has a response in that [language].
00:31:24 Yeah, it’s a whole ritual thing. It’s so hard to listen to. “I love you with all of my heart,” that's what she's saying. I love them both, but it is hard. It was bad, so bad. And we were lost in the dark. And so I am looking at my mom with her little flip phone going, I love you. I love you. It's like seven minutes in. Oh my God. And I was visualizing myself, snatching the phone and just throwing it out the window and being like, now you can’t say good night. Like that's how angry I was. I pulled over, like I got off the expressway. Cause I was like, and I literally [inaudible] I just parked on like, this dark street. And I'm like, I just can't do this anymore. I was like, I can't, I can't do this anymore.
00:32:16 And she's like, I love you so much. Auf Wiedersehen. I remember, from the back seat, watching you pull over, turn your entire body and face her like, in that intimidating way that you can do like, oh, are you quite done? Because we are in the middle of nowhere. She didn't even notice. No. She literally was just going on the phone, uh huh, hee hee, oo oo. I was like, oh my God. Oh my God. Okay. I was just looking at her. And so Jen, you were like, oh, I'm going to drive now. And I was like, fine, fine. Please do this. We switched again. Yeah. We switched again. And so we arrived, finally. You were driving the Ford Explorer as we pulled into Salem, Massachusetts, and we arrived at our bed-and-breakfast. And by the way, a Ford Explorer is much too large of a vehicle to be driving around a town that was incorporated in, oh, I don't know the 1660s.
00:33:21 It was– it did feel a lot bigger once we pulled in, oh my God, the streets of Salem. Tiny. The streets are small. The parking is limited. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. We get there. I'm like, well, this is weird. It says we're here, but this building has very steep steps. That's strange. It wasn’t supposed to have steps. So, I get out of the car and I walk to the building to the steps and I walk up the steps with my hands and my feet because that is how steep they were. So I scurried up and the doors locked. And I've been calling this bed-and-breakfast since Jennifer took the wheel saying, I hope someone's there. Cause I was just getting this answering machine because no one was picking up the phone the way they were supposed to. So we didn't know what we were going to expect, but I certainly expected the door to be open, but it was locked.
00:34:19 But to my surprise, there was an envelope between the crack of the door and it said “Jill” on it. And I was like, well, okay. Inside the envelope, there was a skeleton key and a hand drawn map- no joke… I'm not even kidding- of where we were supposed to park. And it said park in the yellow house’s parking lot, behind the house. It is dark. The map is of a street that is in a square. Unfortunately the streets that we were on were not squares. The blocks weren't square. They weren't, they were like, little triangles. And the corners were like eight corners. The map in no way depicted the reality of the geography that we were in. No way, but what are we going to do? We're going to follow the map. Jen, we're looking for a yellow house right around the block. Right, right, right. Um, so we drive around, we don't know what house color is what because it's black out. It's dark. And Jen, we find a house that looked like it had a parking lot behind it. Jen pulls into this driveway and the vehicle we are driving is angry about it. There are alarms going off. It’s like, back up, back up, back up, and we're like, oh my God, what's happening.
00:36:02 Yeah. Not only was it that the lot behind that particular house full, but our vehicle wouldn't even– it was– it took us so long to pull in, to find out it was full. And then to turn around and pull out of it. And then beep, beep, beep, the whole time the car was going. And we're like, oh my God. So that was when we decided this is too much. We need to just double park, drop Mom off and then find parking on our own. Right. So, so we go, we're helping Mom up the stairs. Jen has her arms, I got her butt and we're helping her up the stairs. We use the skeleton key to get into the bed-and-breakfast. Our door is right there, first floor to the right, and we open it up. And Jen, what do you see in our suite? A full-size bed and a loveseat, but no pull-out cot. No roll in bed.
00:36:56 Nope. But we don't even have time. We don't even have time to problem-solve that because I am bringing in… I'm double parked, and I am bringing in all the luggage that I can hold. Right. And, and you, what are you doing with Mom? So Mom is upset because she knows this as well as I do. There's not enough space for all three of us. And there's also no front desk and we still don't have anyone to talk to about the alleged roll-in bed. Or even parking. Huh? We still don't know where to park. We still didn't know where to park. We don't have anyone to talk to. Nobody. When we call the number that we were given, nobody's picking up the phone. It's well after midnight. So Mom is upset and she's doing the whole overtired [inaudible whining] Right. So Mom is saying, she's going to sleep in the love seat. Now the love seat isn't... it's not a couch. It's not a full size. It's a smaller thing. And we're all very tall women. Anyway, but I'm thinking, well, maybe we could utilize this loveseat in some way. And I walk over to it. [inaudible whining] Exactly.
00:38:08 So, I go over and I sit on this love seat. And immediately I kid you not, my ass hits the floor. I hit the floor because it's really for show. It's like this, it's a sort of piece of furniture that is not a functioning piece of furniture. It's just the shell of an antique. There's no springs. There's no innards. There's cushions and there's floor. So I like, roll out of it. And I said, Jennifer quit fucking around. We’ve got to park the car. And so I tell Mom, Mom do not sit on that loveseat. There's not– and I've been around Mom when she sits on something that's too low. She needs like, two people that like, help her. Yeah, we have to help her. We have to help her to get off of it, it’s too low. So I say, don't sit. [inaudible whining] No, you're not sleeping on the love seat. So that’s the last thing I say to her. And we’re whispering. We're whispering because we're in a house with other people, too. Right. So, she’s like, Mom, don’t sit on the fucking loveseat. We’re going to go park the car. Don’t do it. Don't do it. [inaudible whining] Don't do it. Just don't sit in that seat. [inaudible whining] So I tell her, the last thing I say is, do not get in that loveseat. You’ll sleep in the bed. Don't sit in the love seat. We're going to figure it out, but first we have to park the car cause we're double parked. [inaudible whining]
00:39:29 And we're like, Mom. Mom, we’re going to park the frigging car. Lay down. So, we leave Mom. A very upset mother. We leave and we're driving around Salem. First of all, Jennifer is exhausted and her eyes kind of glazed over and she doesn't look responsive. And I'm worried because she's driving and we're just driving. But Jill, as we're driving, my phone keeps ringing and when I answer, what do I hear? [Inaudible whining] Mom, Mom, we have to park the car. Stop calling. {Inaudible whining] You're not helping us. Please stop. Mom, we have to park. Mom, please stop calling. We're okay, Mom. [Inaudible whining]
00:40:42 She wouldn’t, she wouldn't not stop calling. And we had to answer. What would happen if we didn't answer. Can you imagine what would have happened if we didn't answer? So we had to. Just as soon as you flipped open the phone, you’d hear [inaudible whining] Mom, Mother, please, please stop calling us right now. So that’s happening and there's no parking. There's no parking anywhere. Jennifer is just holding an open phone and cannot verbalize anything at this point. She's just like looking at the phone, looking at me and the phone’s making this horrible screeching noise and Jennifer can't. She's like, she's touching her forehead. And she, her, her brows wrinkled, I lost all ability to articulate intelligent speech. It was gone. I was so overtired. So stressed. Having this, like, my mother crying at me over the phone. I literally was like, pull over this car. So I had to pull Jennifer out of the driver's seat and put her in the passenger seat, buckle her in.
00:41:51 And I was like, God dammit, I'm going to have to do this all by myself. And Jennifer is just holding the phone and the phone’s either crying or ringing. And I'm driving around the city of Salem. And eventually it was like an hour later, I found a parking lot that you had to pay to park. Right? And I was like, done. as long as I can pull over this car. So we pull over and the phone’s still [inaudible whining] and so we grab our pillows and the phone. And we walk back to the bed-and-breakfast. It was like a mile. It was like a mile. Passing other people on the way with our pillows. And we're like, hey, you guys what's up and the phone [inaudible whining]
00:42:32 So we get back and now we're thinking, oh good. We can just relax now. But we forgot that there's nowhere for us to sleep. Right? We don't know the sleeping thing. We totally forgot that. We're just glad to be back. So we climb up the steps, on all fours, and we get into the room. And what do you see, Jen? What's the first thing that hits you as soon as you open the door? Our mother wedged into this love seat, like a hot dog in a bun. She's sitting up straight at a 90 degree angle with her legs straight out in front of her, inside the love seat. Essentially sitting on the floor in the frame of this antique piece of furniture, which we told her not to sit in and do the noise. [inaudible whining] And she's also crying. And we told you, don’t get into the loveseat. And now, you’re stuck. [inaudible whining]
00:43:39 Now, you're stuck. How are you going to get out? How are you going to get out? You are wedged into that piece of furniture. You are stuck. How are you going to get out? You can't sleep like that. You can't sleep like that. Now we have to hoist you out. Now we have to hoist you and we just parked the car. Now we have to put our hands in your butt now, Mom. We have to get up in there. Put our hands in your ass crack and then hoist you out.
00:44:11 I remember you going, you're ridiculous. You're ridiculous. You're ridiculous. You can't sleep like that. You're ridiculous. And she's going [inaudible whining]
00:44:22 You’re ridiculous. And I'm just watching it all unfold. I'm like, oh my God, this is happening. This is happening. So we hoist, we hoist our mother. It takes two of us, like hands in her butt, picking her up out of the love seat, which wasn't a real love seat. Put her in the bed. And then we all snuggle up in the bed, like a, like some sort of family sandwich. Like sardines. And I was the meat. You were the meat. I was the worst of that sandwich. She was the meat. I didn't want to be the meat. Anyway. Oh boy. So, that was the last night; we were scheduled for two nights, but that was the only night we spent there. But all of that driving around the night before really helped out because the next day we knew exactly where we were going. We knew exactly where to park the car. We knew exactly where to drop Mom off so that she could get the most benefit out of that little square.
00:45:18 And Salem was super fun. We had a great time. Mom had a good time. There was a vampire that liked Mom. It was circling around Mom. It was really cute. I know those are great pictures. I love that. Um, and then Jen, from this trip, it was like really our first time, our first Common Mystics experience, because we went to Rebecca Nurse's house, and instead of stopping at like, the museum first, we walked the grounds and we got our impressions. That’s right. I forgot about that. It was our first Common Mystics road trip before we even knew it was. And Mom was there. I love that. Oh, that's my favorite, favorite story of Mom, and it feels so good just to laugh about it, cause I know that she's with us. Such an emotional rollercoaster. That really was it. We were like, I needed like, a vacation after getting home.
00:46:06 I was like, exhausted. So if there's one thing that our listeners can get out of this episode, I hope it's the understanding that you really, really can conjure the spirit of your loved ones who've passed. You really, really can. You can do it on your own and you do it when you talk about them with other people and tell their stories and just laugh and feel that joy and that love. It's still there. It's not lost. They're lost in body, but not in spirit. I like to, I really believe, and I like to remind myself that when someone passes, they’re no longer bound physically to this world and they ascend to the higher power of love and light. And now that they're a part of that higher power, they have– their love is a part of that too. And it's expanded, right? So it can reach you in ways that are different than how you knew them and in life, but it's more powerful and more substantial.
00:47:11 And it's just a continuation of the relationship and they're not bound by physicality so they can hit you in your dreams. They can, they can help you find a parking space. Like you can feel their hugs, even spirit. Whenever you need them. I love that. And I hope that it resonates with so many of our listeners. Thank you for letting us share our Mom's stories with you and our Genie and Grandma's stories. And have a wonderful Christmas and holiday season. And Happy New Year. Absolutely. But you know what guys, no pressure. If you're having, if you're having a sad day, have a sad day, but just try to find time to laugh or connect with someone and to tell stories or to reminisce because it makes me feel better, and I hope it makes you guys feel better too. Alright. Tell the people they can find us. You know what guys, anywhere you're listening to your favorite pods, that's where we are. But please check us out specifically on apple podcasts so you can leave us a positive review. More people will get to find us that way. Thank you, everyone, and good night, Merry Christmas. Happy holidays. [inaudible singing] Really, Jill? .
