151: Mystics in the Making- Our Dad, A Wanted Man

[00:00:10] Speaker A: On this episode of Common Mystics, we get deeply personal as we discuss the story of our father. A man whose life was filled with moments of joy, hardship and heartache. And the lasting impact that he had on our lives. I'm Jennifer James. [00:00:30] Speaker B: I'm Jill Stanley. [00:00:31] Speaker A: We're psychics, we're sisters. We are common mystics. We find extraordinary stories in ordinary places. But today, it's all about our dad. [00:00:42] Speaker B: Yes, as a part of the making of the mystic series, we are discussing our dad. [00:00:48] Speaker A: Yeah. Why are we talking about dad? [00:00:50] Speaker B: Okay, because we talk about our mother's side, the family, a lot. [00:00:55] Speaker A: Well, because they were mystical. [00:00:58] Speaker B: Yes. But dad had his own intuitive gifts that we would be amiss if we did not talk about. Okay, I hear what you're best presented in a very different way. [00:01:10] Speaker A: Yes, they did manifest in a very different way also. [00:01:15] Speaker B: Well, I wouldn't even say that. [00:01:17] Speaker A: Okay, what, what were you gonna say? Less deliberate. [00:01:19] Speaker B: Yeah, if that's exactly what I was gonna say. [00:01:21] Speaker A: No, very deliberate. [00:01:23] Speaker B: Very deliberate. [00:01:23] Speaker A: Very, very deliberate. [00:01:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:01:26] Speaker A: And also I will say that our father's influence on us was probably a lot less positive. Would you say, Would you say maybe? Maybe. Spoiler. Maybe. [00:01:41] Speaker B: I, I, I will agree with that. Yes. [00:01:43] Speaker A: Yeah, maybe. But equally impactful. Equally impactful. [00:01:47] Speaker B: Equally impactful. Yes. So there is no making of the Mystics without dad. [00:01:55] Speaker A: Ironic, but true. Ironic but true. And I'll also say that I'm a little uncomfortable talking about dad for a lot of reasons. I know we have talked about him in the past, but this is more of a deep dive and I, I a little uncomfortable. [00:02:14] Speaker B: I'm really excited. [00:02:15] Speaker A: You are? [00:02:16] Speaker B: I am. And I'm so glad that he's dead? Because he would be, Jennifer. He would be so mad at us. Do you even know the anger level would be turned up to an 11 if he were alive? [00:02:29] Speaker A: Okay, stop it. Yeah, true, true. For a lot of different reasons, as you'll find out. But I also though, feel like. Okay, spoiler alert. He, we haven't seen him. When was the last time we saw him? 1989. 1989. That was the year he left town fleeing from law enforcement. [00:02:52] Speaker B: Why are you jumping ahead? [00:02:54] Speaker A: Because I think that that's important that he left town. Oh, what? So for those, those of us who are who are not watching on our Communistics YouTube channel and just listening on our listening platforms, will you please tell us what we're looking at? [00:03:11] Speaker B: We are looking at an excerpt from the Chicago Tribune dated Monday, March 6, 1818. 1989, from page three and the headline of the article reads, HMO tells 193 workers they are not covered. [00:03:30] Speaker A: Yeah. So I love that you called it dad. So. So, yeah. So that's why he was running. Because he had an insurance company. Yes. [00:03:42] Speaker B: Yes. Jay Jarvis and Associates. [00:03:45] Speaker A: Yes. And he was not. He was collecting money for insurance, but not actually delivering on the insurance part is my understanding. And so that. Apparently, that will get you in some trouble. [00:03:59] Speaker B: Yeah. It's called. Let me think. Fraud. Yeah. [00:04:03] Speaker A: Yes. So that happened in 1988. You were eight years old. I was. [00:04:10] Speaker B: It was 1989. And I was eight years old. [00:04:13] Speaker A: Oh, 1989 you were before I turned nine. Yes. And so I was 16. [00:04:22] Speaker B: Yeah. Somewhere around there. [00:04:23] Speaker A: Yeah. So that. That's. [00:04:25] Speaker B: So that. [00:04:25] Speaker A: A long time. So he's been gone a long time. [00:04:29] Speaker B: True. Dad. [00:04:30] Speaker A: He's been going along, and because he's been gone such a long time from our lives, I feel like he. Stories about dad have just taken on this legendary sort of status in the family because he's not around to ask. Right. And so you just remember your own memories. And then when I talk to my siblings, I realize, oh, my gosh, that that's not what I remember. Do you know what I mean? So it's a little controversial in a sense, you know? [00:05:01] Speaker B: Yes. [00:05:02] Speaker A: Plus, I'll also say we are, our age. Blended. [00:05:07] Speaker B: We are a blended family. [00:05:08] Speaker A: We are a blended family. And like a smoothie. Like a smoothie with peanut butter and frozen bananas. [00:05:16] Speaker B: A lot more dysfunction in the smoothie. [00:05:20] Speaker A: It's a dysfunctional Right in there. Yeah. Yeah. I think our age spans when our oldest sister Kim was, what, 20? 21. 20. When he left and you were 8. [00:05:34] Speaker B: 8. [00:05:35] Speaker A: So we've all had very different experiences. We have different memories. So a lot of the things. A lot of our. [00:05:43] Speaker B: Ooh. [00:05:44] Speaker A: A lot of our understanding of our father is controversial. And I think I can find people in the family who will contradict my understandings about my own dad. [00:05:57] Speaker B: True. [00:05:57] Speaker A: Do you agree. You agree with that statement that it's a little controversial and the stories about him have become family legend? [00:06:05] Speaker B: There's a dichotomy here that we are kind of skirting around, that we'll get into. But I think that what's important to note is that we all have our own experiences with our father. [00:06:16] Speaker A: We all have our own daddy issues. [00:06:18] Speaker B: We all have our own daddy issues. And the thing is, is even with that, it's. He's a hard man not to like. So even with all the negative that we're gonna. We're opening up and telling you all about. I still like the man. [00:06:35] Speaker A: Wow. [00:06:36] Speaker B: Crazy. [00:06:36] Speaker A: Yeah, that is crazy. Because you don't even. You don't even remember what his face looks like. If you hadn't seen pictures. [00:06:42] Speaker B: No, if I haven't seen pictures, you have. No, not. [00:06:44] Speaker A: You have no memory of our dad's face. [00:06:47] Speaker B: No. [00:06:47] Speaker A: Wow. And you know what? You bring up a good point. Even our mother herself, depending on the day, she would either defend him or him out. Am I wrong? [00:07:01] Speaker B: No. Let's get into it. [00:07:02] Speaker A: Okay. Let's get into it. Okay. So where do you want to start, Jill? Where do you want to start? [00:07:08] Speaker B: Let's. Let's start at number 2D. [00:07:18] Speaker A: Is 2D. [00:07:19] Speaker B: I don't. [00:07:20] Speaker A: I don't see a 2, 2. Oh, wait, I'm way. You. [00:07:24] Speaker B: Oh, where are you? [00:07:25] Speaker A: I was already on. This outline. 2, 2. A 2, 2, 2, 8. 2, 8, 2. [00:07:39] Speaker B: Okay, great. Okay, let's pick it up there. [00:07:43] Speaker A: Even our mother herself, as I was saying, depending on the day, would either cuss him out or be like, well, what do you expect? Do you know what I mean? Like, that was his capacity for love. He loved as much as he possibly could. Do you know what I mean? [00:07:57] Speaker B: That's right. [00:07:57] Speaker A: And what do you expect, knowing the upbringing that he had? Right? [00:08:02] Speaker B: And we'll get into that. [00:08:03] Speaker A: Well, so let's get into it. Let's go right to number three. Since we're all looking at the outline together. [00:08:09] Speaker B: Please turn your pages to number three in the outline. So our father, from the beginning. Dad. Had a rough start in life in many different ways. [00:08:19] Speaker A: Yes, he did take it. So we are really actually saying his entire name. James Edward Jarvis was his name. [00:08:27] Speaker B: There he is now. What are you looking at? [00:08:29] Speaker A: Oh, I'm looking at our dad as a baby. [00:08:33] Speaker B: He was a cute baby. [00:08:34] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. Is that adorable. I don't know what happened to his bangs. [00:08:39] Speaker B: I was thinking the same thing. Did someone literally put a bowl on his head and just cut around? [00:08:43] Speaker A: That's what it looks like here. I would not be surprised if that was the method. [00:08:48] Speaker B: I love how chubby he is. [00:08:49] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. [00:08:50] Speaker B: So such a cute baby. [00:08:52] Speaker A: How old do you think he hit? He is here one. [00:08:56] Speaker B: Maybe. [00:08:57] Speaker A: Because I've never had a child, like, I don't talk in, like, months of age. Like, that means nothing to me, but I would say between one and two months old. [00:09:05] Speaker B: Yeah. 100. [00:09:07] Speaker A: Cute. Such a cute baby. Oh, my. [00:09:10] Speaker B: And he's wearing suspenders. [00:09:12] Speaker A: There's our little dad. [00:09:13] Speaker B: There's our little papa. [00:09:14] Speaker A: He'll grow up to be a criminal one day. [00:09:18] Speaker B: You just hang in there. [00:09:19] Speaker A: Wearing stripes. How appropriate. Yeah, sorry, dad used to that. Sorry, baby. Dad. Yeah. So dad was born in 1947 on Chicago's south side. [00:09:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:09:34] Speaker A: To his parents, Dorsey and Bessie. [00:09:39] Speaker B: Let's take a look at Dorsey. [00:09:42] Speaker A: Oh, that's Dorsey. [00:09:44] Speaker B: Yep. And Bessie. [00:09:46] Speaker A: Oh, all right. Go back because some people are only listening and not on our YouTube. Okay, so Dorsey, what are we looking at? Describe. [00:09:54] Speaker B: Well, we are looking at a young man wearing unfortunate wool. [00:09:59] Speaker A: And it looks like a wool sweater. [00:10:02] Speaker B: A wool sweater with a tucked in button down collared shirt beneath. He is in a family picture. But we just zoomed in on our grandfather Dorsey there. And there he is. [00:10:14] Speaker A: I will say that it is an old black and white picture. Kind of a sepia tone. It's very grainy. But he's an attractive young man, I would say. [00:10:23] Speaker B: Yep. [00:10:24] Speaker A: Not from his clothes. He looks. He looks like he's probably wearing the best clothes he has. But they're not fancy. [00:10:32] Speaker B: Yes. [00:10:32] Speaker A: Right. [00:10:32] Speaker B: They look worn. It looks like he's wearing the best clothes he has. But the clothes look worn. [00:10:38] Speaker A: Yes. Okay, now let's look at Bessie. Very different vibe. [00:10:45] Speaker B: Very different vibe. Very sophisticated. [00:10:47] Speaker A: She is sophisticated. She is wearing, I would say fancier clothes. Not high class, but not, you know. No, she wasn't rich. She doesn't look rich. But she carries together. [00:10:58] Speaker B: She carries herself as if she's high class. [00:11:01] Speaker A: This was a professional portrait. You can tell she is sitting on. I don't know what style of chair this is. It looks like an antique chair. The kind with the. The dark wood and the leather inlay. And her legs are crossed in front of her. She has a Mary Jane shoe. I might have those shoes actually. With the. The strap around the heel. It looks very 1920s or 30s. [00:11:25] Speaker B: Yeah, it looks 20s to me. 20s or 30s, you're right. [00:11:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:29] Speaker B: I love her hair. She has. She's rocking a bob with a side part and it's cute. Curly. [00:11:34] Speaker A: It's very curly. I would even say like frizzy curly. [00:11:39] Speaker B: Still love? [00:11:40] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. So much body. [00:11:42] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:11:42] Speaker A: I don't know that I would call her a classic beauty, but she's grandma beautiful. [00:11:49] Speaker B: Yeah, she's beautiful in her own way, but there she is. So now let's get back to the story. [00:11:54] Speaker A: Oh, yes. Okay. So that was Dorsey and Bessie that we just described from you. The story of little Jimmy. Okay. So Dorsey and Bessie were married. [00:12:04] Speaker B: True. [00:12:05] Speaker A: To other people. [00:12:08] Speaker B: Not to each other. [00:12:08] Speaker A: To each other. To other people. [00:12:12] Speaker B: Twist in the story. Our grandparents Were not married to each other, but other people. [00:12:17] Speaker A: But other people. So Dorsey was originally from clo, West Virginia. Looks like Chloe, but it's pronounced clo. We know it's CLO because we went there. [00:12:27] Speaker B: We went to clo. We went on a Jarvis family get to know you trip, and we went to clo, and that's where we picked up the pictures of our. Our family. [00:12:39] Speaker A: Yeah. During that trip. So Dorsey's family, it's kind of classic American mutt sort of family, mostly English heritage, living a poor rural lifestyle. Okay. You know, this is Appalachia we're talking about. And Appalachia is known for a lot of things. Coal mines, hardworking people. And even that was not our people. Yeah, our people were poor by poor standards. Our people. Dorsey's family, the Jarvises, poor by Appalachian poor standards. Which. That's poor. [00:13:21] Speaker B: It is rough. [00:13:22] Speaker A: That's poor. [00:13:24] Speaker B: That's pretty. [00:13:24] Speaker A: But also, it was the men. It's almost like they didn't care, because the men of the family, like, they just wanted to sit around and fiddle all day. You know what I mean? [00:13:37] Speaker B: Like, literally, with a fiddle in the back of a pickup truck that didn't run. [00:13:41] Speaker A: Yes, they would do odd jobs, but they weren't interested in working every day. And it was the women. It was the women who kept the family going by selling the eggs that their chickens laid. [00:13:53] Speaker B: Right. [00:13:53] Speaker A: And keeping the house together and doing the sewing and the odd jobs and keeping the money. [00:14:00] Speaker B: Grandma. It's so confusing when we talk about the men in our family for many different reasons, but I will tell you that Will, Dorsey's father, would still steal the money from the family so he can drink. So his wife would hold the key to the cellar where the money was hidden around her neck so he couldn't get the potatoes and he couldn't get the money out of the cellar. [00:14:22] Speaker A: And this would be dad's grandpa. [00:14:24] Speaker B: Correct. [00:14:25] Speaker A: Whom he never met. [00:14:26] Speaker B: Never met. [00:14:27] Speaker A: No. Never even met his dad, by the way. [00:14:29] Speaker B: Didn't meet his father. [00:14:30] Speaker A: Didn't meet his father. Interesting. [00:14:33] Speaker B: As a matter of fact, the first of this line of Jarvises to see the pictures of the line of Jarvises from clo, West Virginia, is us. We picked up these pictures. [00:14:45] Speaker A: Wow. [00:14:45] Speaker B: That was the first bridge. [00:14:47] Speaker A: Wow. So Dorsey, our father's father, was married to a woman named Martha Dawson. [00:14:52] Speaker B: Correct. [00:14:53] Speaker A: And had six children with Martha Dawson in West Virginia and then left to go to Chicago to, I don't know, sew his oats. I don't know what he was doing. [00:15:05] Speaker B: Well, he actually left to get A pack of cigarettes and then wound up in Chicago with another woman. That's what happened. It's like he went out the door and like, whoops, I'm in Chicago. And, hi, there's a baby here now, by the way. Saddest thing ever. Side note, I don't want to hear sad stuff. Dad had a brother by the same [00:15:23] Speaker A: name in West Virginia. [00:15:25] Speaker B: They were in West Virginia. There was two James Jarvis's, one James Edward, which is ours, and one James Herbert, which was theirs. And that's sad. [00:15:34] Speaker A: That's so sad. His dad didn't care enough to name an original name. [00:15:41] Speaker B: It's like we're getting gyms this year. [00:15:43] Speaker A: Wow. [00:15:44] Speaker B: Gyms all around. [00:15:46] Speaker A: Now, Bessie, our father's mother, she was first generation Serbian, which is so I remember as a kid, dad being proud of a Serbian heritage. And there she is again, our grandma Bessie in her dress in her professional portrait with her Mary Janes. Yeah, you don't. It looks like she's wearing. Well, I'm just telling for people who are not yet on our YouTube channel. Dad was proud of his Serbian heritage. When you asked him like, what? And he had a lot. He was a true mutt. Right. Because of his dad, he would always say Serbian and nobody knew what that meant, but apparently, you know, these days. I know. We know that Serbia was once a part of Hungary, the Kingdom of Hungary. And this is where Bessie's parents came over from. So she was first generation. She had her own issues. [00:16:36] Speaker B: Who is Bessie married to? At the time that we got little [00:16:39] Speaker A: daddy, Bessie was married to a man named Bill Sacker. Yes, correct. Now, she left her husband. We know she left her husband. There is no evidence of divorce. [00:16:52] Speaker B: No evidence of divorce. [00:16:53] Speaker A: No evidence of divorce. And she left behind her two young sons to be raised by her parents in Ohio, wasn't it? Ohio? Yes, Akron, Ohio, and again in Chicago, where she met Dorsey. So. [00:17:10] Speaker B: And as the story goes. [00:17:11] Speaker A: Tell us, tell us the story. [00:17:13] Speaker B: Dorsey and Bessie met while they were living and working on Chicago south side. [00:17:18] Speaker A: Yep. [00:17:19] Speaker B: We know that Dorsey started work at the Northwestern railroad in Chicago as a trucker in June, the year dad was born. He quickly though, was demoted to a general gang laborer. And he did back breaking manual work to rebuild, repair and maintain railway tracks. [00:17:36] Speaker A: That sucks. [00:17:37] Speaker B: He did that for very little amount of time. [00:17:40] Speaker A: Intuitively. Why do you think he was demoted? I know we don't have any evidence of this, but intuitively, he's drunk. [00:17:48] Speaker B: Yes, he's drunk. [00:17:49] Speaker A: Yes, he was drunk. I think the same thing. [00:17:52] Speaker B: Yes, he was drunk. He was drunk. He can't be driving drunk. [00:17:56] Speaker A: Yeah. That was the one thing dad did know about his dad. That he was a drunk. [00:18:01] Speaker B: And because of that, dad did not allow one of his vices to be alcohol. [00:18:05] Speaker A: Correct. He did not drink alcohol. [00:18:07] Speaker B: He had others. [00:18:10] Speaker A: Yeah. So he hooks up with Bessie, but the two of them. It wasn't a long term thing. [00:18:17] Speaker B: No, not at all. [00:18:18] Speaker A: It was not a long term. [00:18:18] Speaker B: And as a matter of fact, Dad's birth certificate is riddled with inaccuracies. [00:18:24] Speaker A: Really? [00:18:24] Speaker B: They say that? Yeah. [00:18:25] Speaker A: Do we have. Do we have a photo of that? [00:18:28] Speaker B: I do not. [00:18:29] Speaker A: Damn, Jill. All right. That's all right. [00:18:31] Speaker B: We're so spoiled. [00:18:34] Speaker A: I am spoiled. Okay, keep talking. What inaccuracies are on our father's birth certificate? [00:18:40] Speaker B: One that they were married to each other, which they were not. [00:18:45] Speaker A: But they lied, clearly. They said married. Yeah. [00:18:49] Speaker B: So they're like, yeah, we're married to other people. And you know what I mean, like that. [00:18:56] Speaker A: I mean, big stigma, though. That would be. That would have been embarrassing, but still. I know. [00:19:00] Speaker B: Do you think that intuitively. Do you think Dorsey was at the hospital when dad was born? [00:19:04] Speaker A: No. [00:19:06] Speaker B: Oh. [00:19:06] Speaker A: Do you? No. [00:19:08] Speaker B: No, no, no. [00:19:09] Speaker A: I bet he wasn't even in town anymore because what did he do? He left right away. [00:19:14] Speaker B: He went back to West Virginia and then. And made a little James Herbert. [00:19:22] Speaker A: And then didn't he, like, get on a train and, like, ride around the country then he still didn't stay and raise his family? [00:19:29] Speaker B: No, no. He left again. [00:19:30] Speaker A: He left again. [00:19:31] Speaker B: And he left again. [00:19:33] Speaker A: So. [00:19:35] Speaker B: So Dorsey and I was. We were going to get into this later. [00:19:38] Speaker A: I'm sorry. [00:19:39] Speaker B: No, no, no, no, no, no. I do it to you all the time. But. So later in life, we're going to get into what ends up happening to Dorsey and Bessie. But right now all you need to know is that Dad's foundation was characterized by poverty, a father who abandoned him, and he also had an abusive stepfather. [00:20:00] Speaker A: Right. [00:20:01] Speaker B: And a seemingly indifferent mother who failed to protect him from his abusive stepfather. [00:20:06] Speaker A: Right. [00:20:06] Speaker B: Now, can you tell me about the stepfather a little bit before we go on? [00:20:11] Speaker A: Yeah. So. So Bessie is basically raising Jimmy by herself for a little bit, but when dad is around 10, she marries. I never knew he was a boxer until I read this outline. And I did read the outline. Sorry, it was out of order. [00:20:26] Speaker B: That's okay. [00:20:27] Speaker A: His name was Thomas Marusik. Marusak. [00:20:31] Speaker B: Don't ask me. [00:20:32] Speaker A: And they got married around the time that dad was 10. Do. Do we know that they actually got married? [00:20:39] Speaker B: I. I believe they got married because she went by music until she died. [00:20:43] Speaker A: And also though there's. She probably never divorced her first husband, which is funny, but whatever. Yeah. And Thomas. I know for a fact that Thomas was abusive to dad. Dad would tell me stories about the types of things that would happen when he was a kid. [00:21:01] Speaker B: Tell me. [00:21:03] Speaker A: So apparently Thomas was very stingy with his money. And I got the impression from dad telling me stories about his childhood that he was very poor. Okay. And he. Yeah, so that was. That left an impression on him, the fact that he was living in poverty. And he told me that he would have homework from school and he would need to. It would be dark and he would want to turn the light on to do his homework in the dark. Because in Chicago it gets dark around 4:30 in the winter, you know, And Tom wouldn't let him turn the light on because of the electricity. He wouldn't let him turn the light on. So dad couldn't do his homework because he literally couldn't see it because the house was dark. [00:21:55] Speaker B: That's really sad. [00:21:57] Speaker A: Also, there was a time when dad wore out his shoes. Now he said that he used to put his shoes on without untying them or unbuckling them or whatever. So he would slip his feet in his shoes and take them off, kick them off without. And. And Thomas would say, stop doing that. Stop doing that. You're going to ruin your shoes and I don't want to buy you more shoes. Right. So stop doing that. And so what happened though, to Dad's shoes is there was a seam down the back ripped because he was doing that still. He didn't listen to Tom and so he was still putting his shoes on. You can just imagine what I'm talking about. Right. Like the back of the shoe. Yeah. So he's like destroying the back of the shoe because he's too lazy to actually untie. [00:22:43] Speaker B: Do it all the time. [00:22:44] Speaker A: Yes, exactly. And so when Thomas saw that he ruined his shoes, essentially because he wasn't listening and. And needed new shoes, he beat dad. He beat him over. Over the shoes. And so what dad did was when Thomas wasn't home, he went into the closet and took all Thomas's shoes and with a knife cut the backs of his shoes. [00:23:13] Speaker B: Wow. [00:23:15] Speaker A: So that all of them also were. Were essentially ruined. And so Thomas. The funny thing was, Thomas didn't realize. And so when he was like, what the hell happened to my shoes? Dad just sat there like saying, wow, that's exactly what happened to my shoes. [00:23:34] Speaker B: My God. [00:23:36] Speaker A: As a way of like getting back at him. So anyway, that's classic. [00:23:42] Speaker B: I mean, classic dad. [00:23:44] Speaker A: Classic. [00:23:44] Speaker B: All right, so let's get into how dad and mom ended up getting to know each other. I love it because, spoiler alert, they get together. [00:23:54] Speaker A: So Mom, Mom's family also living on the south side, Dad's family living on the south side. And, well, Grandma, the family, you know, they. They moved into the Back of the Yards neighborhood in the 1950s, which I think in and of itself is significant because it was a slum. It was a slum. [00:24:17] Speaker B: And the Back of the Yards is the back of the stockyards in Chicago. [00:24:21] Speaker A: And so explain stockyards. What, what does that mean? [00:24:24] Speaker B: You. You explain. [00:24:26] Speaker A: So a picture the city of Chicago, and there are miles of pens where there are hogs and cattle that are then murdered and processed in, in these factories right there in the city. And the Back of the Yards neighborhood was right next there, right next to the stockyards. And so imagine. Yes. And by the way, did you ever have to read the Jungle by Upton Sinclair in high school? [00:24:57] Speaker B: I did not. [00:24:57] Speaker A: You didn't? That was part of my curriculum. And I just have to say that was written in 1906 about the Chicago stockyards and the processing of meat and how horrendous that whole experience was. [00:25:12] Speaker B: So. [00:25:12] Speaker A: And I bring that up because our families on both sides went there because it was a draw for people who are immigrants looking to do labor to make something of themselves. But after, after that expose and over the years, the neighborhood actually rallied and kind of is known to have unslummed itself because of the ethnic. The ethnic close knit people, like the polls, right? Like some Serbians and different ethnic groups who lived there got together and just like worked really hard to improve the community. So anyway, Grandma lived there, of course, with Grandpa, Aunt Jeannie, Janet, mom and mom's older sister Irene all lived in a 4 flat in the neighborhood. [00:26:03] Speaker B: Owned by Mrs. Kowalski. [00:26:05] Speaker A: Owned by Mrs. KOWALSKI. And there was another woman living in the 4 flat. Right. And tell us about dad. How does he make an appearance? How do they meet for the first time? [00:26:18] Speaker B: So mom is helping grandpa outside and grandpa is fixing the cement in the gangway of the apartment. [00:26:28] Speaker A: So he's breaking it up. [00:26:30] Speaker B: He's breaking it up because it's already damaged and he has to pour more. So he has mom breaking up the concrete with. With him and in the gangway, just smashing and smashing it. Because mom was strong like bull. Because that's what grandpa used to say. Say you're stuck like a bull. You can do it. [00:26:46] Speaker A: And mom was about 14 years old. [00:26:48] Speaker B: Yes, 14 years old. Little tomboy. [00:26:50] Speaker A: Okay. Yes. Love it. [00:26:52] Speaker B: So dad was coming to the apartment because a friend of Bessie's, our grandma Bessie, lived in the four flat in this. This building. So dad was delivering something from a store. I'm not sure what it was. I don't know all the ins and outs, but dad was delivering something on his mom's behalf, and he went there and he met the girl that he was going be with. [00:27:21] Speaker A: Our mom? [00:27:24] Speaker B: No, Aunt Irene. Okay. [00:27:27] Speaker A: So was Aunt Irene also helping with this cement project? [00:27:32] Speaker B: No, she was not. She was sitting on the steps. [00:27:35] Speaker A: So she was sitting. Okay. And Aunt Irene was not. Was not strong like bull. She was not a tomboy. [00:27:45] Speaker B: Apparently not. Because when mom was crushing up the cement, she was sitting on the porch and dad was instantly taken with her. And he was like, oh, my gosh, I have to be with her. She was. [00:27:57] Speaker A: She was two years older, right? About two years older than mom. So she would have been 16. [00:28:03] Speaker B: She's dad's age. [00:28:04] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:04] Speaker B: Because dad's two years older than Mom. [00:28:06] Speaker A: Right, right. So that makes sense. This is an adorable picture. Describe what we're looking at. [00:28:12] Speaker B: We are looking at our father with his arm around our aunt in our grandma's house. [00:28:19] Speaker A: And our aunt is looking bored. [00:28:23] Speaker B: And dad's looking really dapper and he's wearing. [00:28:27] Speaker A: He's looking hopeful. He has the pompadour. [00:28:30] Speaker B: He has the pompadour. And he has a very skin. Skinny tie. [00:28:33] Speaker A: Very skinny tie. [00:28:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:35] Speaker A: And a long sleeve shirt. [00:28:37] Speaker B: Very 50s, very Buddy Holly. [00:28:40] Speaker A: Well, he has no glasses, though. [00:28:43] Speaker B: Yes, but adorable. [00:28:45] Speaker A: Adorable. He. Yeah. Oh, my God. So cute. [00:28:49] Speaker B: So dad asked an Turin out and so. And Mom. Did they date? Yes, they were dating. And dad would come over to the house and mom was jelly because mom liked him. Even at that age. 14 years old, she had a sweet, super crush on dad. And so when dad would come over the house to visit aunt Irene, mom would pay her little sister, our Aunt Jeie, to spy on them. [00:29:13] Speaker A: I love it. [00:29:14] Speaker B: And eventually our Aunt Irene broke dad's heart and said that she just wasn't interested in dad anymore. [00:29:21] Speaker A: A. Well, I'm glad. I'm glad. Okay. Things work out for a reason. [00:29:26] Speaker B: Everything happens for a reason. [00:29:29] Speaker A: So then, you know, there's this period of dad's life that is unclear. This next. Right. It's unclear. [00:29:37] Speaker B: Never really did get the truth about this period of dad's life, which is his young adult period. [00:29:43] Speaker A: Yeah, He. He left high school. [00:29:45] Speaker B: Yes. [00:29:46] Speaker A: Without graduating. [00:29:48] Speaker B: Without graduating. [00:29:49] Speaker A: And we were always told it is family legend that he left to join the military. Specifically the Marines. [00:29:57] Speaker B: Yes. Not just the military. The hardest branch of the military, arguably. [00:30:01] Speaker A: Right. And as the story goes, he was discharged due to an injury. [00:30:07] Speaker B: And what was that? [00:30:09] Speaker A: So I've heard this story from mom so many times. Dad was doing like basic training, I guess, like physical exercises. You know, you've seen Officer and a Gentleman and other. Yes, I like. Right. And what is the other one? Full Metal Jacket. You know, how they have to do the. The physical. Physical training. I would never make it. I would never make it. [00:30:30] Speaker B: And get yelled at all day long time. [00:30:32] Speaker A: And they say mean things about your mom. Why can't they just leave your mom out of it? [00:30:36] Speaker B: And brings up steers and queers and say terrible, mean things that you shouldn't say. [00:30:40] Speaker A: Oh, don't say things like that. Anyway, so according to this legend, they were doing the wall. You remember the wall? Yes. [00:30:48] Speaker B: You know the wall. You have to hold the roll. [00:30:52] Speaker A: GI Jane, walk the wal. Wall. Okay. So they were. They were doing the wall. And so they. They were going two at a time. According to this legend, dad and another guy both went to the wall. They were both going over the wall. And as the other guy was swinging his legs over, apparently he kicked dad in the head and dad fell off the wall. There was a. A head injury that happened, and he was discharged due to this accident. That's what. [00:31:19] Speaker B: Well, that's what we heard. But I have done extensive research into our family's history, as you can imagine, and I have found no evidence that dad was ever enlisted in the marines, let alone any branch of the armed forces. [00:31:36] Speaker A: Sue. We have no idea what he was really doing during that period of time. But that's what mom believed. That up and down. And I will also say our brother was in the military. And believe it or not, the military keep really good notes, [00:31:50] Speaker B: famously. [00:31:51] Speaker A: Yeah, really good notes. And there's no evidence of dad ever being in the military at all. So anyway, legend, right? Part of the legend. [00:32:01] Speaker B: Yeah. So dad gets discharged honorably from the military. And I'm putting that in because we have absolutely no evidence of that. And he is working at a shoe store on Ashland Avenue and in Chicago, south side. [00:32:19] Speaker A: Yes, he is. [00:32:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:21] Speaker A: And what? Little mama was walking over to the Ashland Avenue shoe store all the time. [00:32:27] Speaker B: It was there that dad would meet up with mom again. When she was walking by, dad saw her and he was like, hey, Stella. He walked out of the store and was like, how are you? Yes. So then grandma so then mom would use any excuse to go to down to Ashland Avenue. Like literally any excuse. So much so that grandma was like, what the hell? Why do you. Like, why do you keep running errands for us on Ashland Avenue? [00:32:57] Speaker A: That's hysterical. That's hysterical. [00:33:01] Speaker B: So mom would hang out at the shoe store with dad when he wasn't busy. And that flirting did ensue. There was a flirty, flirty McFlurtis and happening. He would say things like, you're too young now, but one day you going to grow up and stuff like that. And she would be like, yes, I [00:33:19] Speaker A: don't know how I feel about that. A little bit of ick. Like, ick. Anyway, so then they lost touch again. [00:33:26] Speaker B: They did. [00:33:28] Speaker A: And fast forward a few years. Mom graduates high school and she gets a job working for Crown Life Insurance in downtown. Downtown Chicago in a high rise. All right, so what happens there? They meet again. [00:33:44] Speaker B: They meet again. It is there. Where a paper form salesman. [00:33:50] Speaker A: So think of like the triplicate forms. [00:33:55] Speaker B: Yes, yes. They didn't have templates for word. You had to buy forms from a [00:34:01] Speaker A: salesman and you had to write real heavy. You had to press really hard with your pen. [00:34:06] Speaker B: Heavy handed. So everyone can have a copy of what you. [00:34:10] Speaker A: So dad was selling triplicate forms. Love this. [00:34:13] Speaker B: Okay, so love that for him. He's such a good salesman. And he walks into Crown life. And who is the young secretary behind the desk? None other than Ms. Stella Prislak. [00:34:29] Speaker A: Our mama. [00:34:29] Speaker B: Yes, our cute mama. [00:34:31] Speaker A: Okay. So then they get together. It sticks this time. [00:34:34] Speaker B: So dad said that he was going to see her again soon. And she was like. And when she went down the escalator that day, waiting for her at the bottom of the escalator for her lunchtime was dad, and they were an item. [00:34:50] Speaker A: And this would be super romantic if there wasn't a secret life. Oh, that's so cute. [00:34:59] Speaker B: What are you looking at? [00:35:00] Speaker A: Gosh, Is it the late 60s, early 70s? Mom is wearing a very funky maxi dress. Love it for her. [00:35:11] Speaker B: Love it. I love everything that's happening. [00:35:13] Speaker A: Her hair is long and straight and parted just to the side. And dad is in a. A pinstripe suit with a red tie. And he kind of looks like Andy Kaufman a little bit in this. [00:35:25] Speaker B: He does look like Andy Kaufman in this photo. It's not a good photo of him. But Mama looks so cute. [00:35:31] Speaker A: Mama looks really cute. She looks hungry, though. She looks like she's starving herself. [00:35:35] Speaker B: Yes, yes. [00:35:35] Speaker A: She looks a little. She was. She was. [00:35:37] Speaker B: She was starving herself. [00:35:39] Speaker A: Yeah, she Wanted to catch herself a Jimmy. Anyway, okay, so. So. Sounds really, really cute and romantic until. What happened next, Jill? What did mom find out? [00:35:54] Speaker B: Well, a few years into the relationship, literally, mom, like, dad would be like, I have to go sell my form, so he would, like, leave for long periods at a time. And so she's like, well, that's weird. And then one day, her friend at work, by viola. What did. [00:36:12] Speaker A: What happened? [00:36:12] Speaker B: What did. [00:36:13] Speaker A: What happened? She was like, wake up. He's married. She was just like, yeah, that. That is the behavior of a married man who's screwing around behind his wife's back. And mom was like, no. And as it turned out, he was married. Not only that, he was 100% married. Oh. Not just a little married. He was 100% married. And he already had a daughter and he had another child on the way. [00:36:39] Speaker B: That's right. [00:36:41] Speaker A: So. [00:36:41] Speaker B: And that would be our siblings, Kim and Chris. [00:36:44] Speaker A: And a big, huge red flag for our mother. [00:36:48] Speaker B: But this is the irony. [00:36:49] Speaker A: What's the. [00:36:50] Speaker B: This is the thing. The thing was, is that mom wanted nothing to do with him and dad. Do you know the story that dad broke into Mom's apartment when she was at work and wrote, like, a love poem and, like, a sorry letter on the toilet paper? So you don't, like, unroll the toilet paper? No. [00:37:09] Speaker A: I never heard that. That's weird. [00:37:11] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, that happened. [00:37:12] Speaker A: He broke into the apartment. [00:37:15] Speaker B: Yes. Well, they lived there together, technically. [00:37:17] Speaker A: Okay. [00:37:18] Speaker B: In Cicero. [00:37:19] Speaker A: And wrote her a love poem on toilet paper. [00:37:23] Speaker B: Yes. The irony is you are a form salesman. You have no paper. You are digging in the trash or unrolling a roll of toilet paper to write this long out, like, I'm sorry. I'm a douche. Yes. I'm married with children, but I want to be with you. [00:37:41] Speaker A: What a strange thing to do. Did he write it, like, backwards so that you read as you roll, or do you think he unrolled it and, like, said, I think my poem is going to be a foot long, and then started at the top and then wrote it down towards the end. [00:37:58] Speaker B: I think you. You would have to write as you wrote it. [00:38:02] Speaker A: Right, Right. As you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:38:04] Speaker B: Because otherwise it wouldn't make sense. So you have to write as you unroll. [00:38:09] Speaker A: I love that. He had to think, you know, he thought about this. He's like, yeah, wait a minute. [00:38:14] Speaker B: You know, he was like, how could I make this clever and special that you'll never forget this? It's like, dude, bro. Yeah. So this is the thing. This is the thing. During that time mom finds out that she herself was expecting with me. And she did. Would. Did not want a relationship with him. [00:38:40] Speaker A: She didn't. [00:38:40] Speaker B: She went. [00:38:41] Speaker A: She was ready. Yep. She was ready to just say, forget it. [00:38:47] Speaker B: Yeah, you be with you and your family, and I will be with mine. And she went to grandma and Grandpa, and she was like, hey, guys, look, preggers. And this is the situation with Jim, and I want nothing to do with him. I want to move home. And grandma and grandpa, who, surprisingly were big fans of dad, encouraged mom to forgive him and to be a family. And they had a little baby girl. [00:39:22] Speaker A: So that would be me. And we are looking at a picture of a very large toddler. [00:39:32] Speaker B: She's a big baby. She's a big baby. [00:39:34] Speaker A: Wow. There's a lot of extra padding on that. Wow. I'm huge. [00:39:40] Speaker B: Look at her. I am more concerned about where you've been walking. [00:39:43] Speaker A: It looked like bigger than my parents in this picture. It looks like some. Somebody blew me up from the back. [00:39:50] Speaker B: It's the angle. It's the angle. I love how you're sitting on one of each of their legs, just toddling. [00:40:00] Speaker A: I'm a huge toddler with some strange toy in my hand. It looks. I don't know what that is. I don't know. [00:40:05] Speaker B: It's a rattle. [00:40:07] Speaker A: It looks like an X ray. [00:40:09] Speaker B: It looks like a butt plug. Literally. It literally looks like a butt plug. [00:40:14] Speaker A: I'm playing with a butt plug. And I'm sitting on my mother and my father's lap at the same time. This is terrible. [00:40:21] Speaker B: And mom looks very proud. [00:40:22] Speaker A: Mom looks proud. Her eyes are closed. Dad looks so sweaty for some reason. And I just look huge. And I need a haircut. [00:40:30] Speaker B: Cute picture. Good times. And my. [00:40:33] Speaker A: My shoes have no arch support. I'm just gonna go out and say, those are terrible. [00:40:36] Speaker B: Shoes look like the dirtiest clown shoes. Like the dirtiest clown feet you could ever possibly imagine. Like a clown on hard times walking. Walking in hard places holding a butt plug. I think a butt plug. [00:40:56] Speaker A: This is terrible. Terrible. [00:40:58] Speaker B: But at least you have a picture of you and mom and dad together. [00:41:01] Speaker A: Let me take out my tiny violin. A. [00:41:04] Speaker B: Some of us don't have that. [00:41:08] Speaker A: Anyway, so. Yeah. What a twist that grandma and grandpa were like, no, no, no. We like Jim. Marry him. You. [00:41:15] Speaker B: You. [00:41:15] Speaker A: Baby needs a father. The baby needs. [00:41:18] Speaker B: Baby needs. [00:41:19] Speaker A: It was a different time. And he. Even though they knew he was a man who cheated, he was a cheater. Even though they knew that they still liked him and endorsed him. That says [00:41:34] Speaker B: went to bat for his ass. Okay. [00:41:36] Speaker A: That's a lot about his charisma. I'll say. And likability. [00:41:40] Speaker B: Yeah, right. So tell me a little about their marriage. [00:41:44] Speaker A: Oh, where are we going now for seven. [00:41:47] Speaker B: We're on seven. [00:41:48] Speaker A: Oh, gosh. Oh, their marriage. Well, it wasn't good. Buckle up. It wasn't good. So we lived. Me, mom, and dad lived in grandma's foreflat. And to be honest, I don't remember anything about dad during that time frame. [00:42:08] Speaker B: Well, you were just a little. [00:42:09] Speaker A: Well, I was. Well, I lived there until I was, like, 4. And I don't remember dad because I spent every day with. With Grandma. Grandma watched me every day while mom and dad were at work. I don't. And I remember mom coming home and getting me and bringing me upstairs, but I don't remember dad. [00:42:25] Speaker B: But I do get a lot on his plate. [00:42:27] Speaker A: He did. But I do remember that he. He was the weekend dad for Kim and Chris. Right. Remember his. His kids from his previous marriage? Oh, there we all are. Such a happy family. We. [00:42:41] Speaker B: Yes, that's our. Please describe what you're looking at here. And I want to apologize for the quality of this picture. I had to take an AI out one of our other siblings for legal purposes. [00:42:56] Speaker A: So that's why there's a blob. There's a missing blob in the center. Okay, that makes sense. [00:43:04] Speaker B: There was a child in dad's arms, and I had a. I had to take her out. [00:43:09] Speaker A: Wow. Okay, so. So our sister Kim is not deformed. [00:43:12] Speaker B: No. [00:43:13] Speaker A: Okay. Because she's a really cute. Look at that. [00:43:16] Speaker B: So we have our sister American Girl doll. [00:43:19] Speaker A: She does. She does. We have our sister Kim with her. Her blonde hair. Adorable. Christopher, our brother, the best brother in the world. He in a very, very flouncy red dress. [00:43:34] Speaker B: Jennifer, you are so cute. [00:43:36] Speaker A: Thanks. And our father, who is wearing a very 70s suit. [00:43:42] Speaker B: Very denim. [00:43:43] Speaker A: Very denim with white stitching. It's a bold look. [00:43:47] Speaker B: It is a bold look. [00:43:48] Speaker A: But he's handsome in this picture. He's not hand Andy Kaufman in this picture. [00:43:52] Speaker B: No, but he is giving me. [00:43:54] Speaker A: Your. Is turned. Is toned down. [00:43:57] Speaker B: He is giving me some very strong 70s vibes with this look. [00:44:01] Speaker A: I don't hate it. I don't hate it. [00:44:03] Speaker B: I mean, it's a. It's a timestamp. For sure. [00:44:06] Speaker A: For sure. All right, so. All right, so I will say this. I had. I had some fun times going with dad to Kim and Chris's house to pick them up, and then we would do fun things together. Can I tell you another story? I'm dying about me and dad. Okay, so one of these days during this time frame, we lived in Grandma and Grandpa's house in our apartment. And. And it was one of the days where it was a weekend dad took me. We went to go pick up Kim and Chris. We had our weekend fun, whatever that entailed. A lot of different possibilities. Anyway, drop them off. And we were headed home. And there was an intense rainstorm. Intense rainstorm. And the streets flooded so quickly that we had to pull over and walk the rest of the way home because the streets were closed because of flooding. And I remember from that day walking on like a stone wall fence, you know what I mean? Like a stone fence ball with dogs barking on one side and the rain coming down and dad holding my hand. And then I remember at some parts, he had me on his shoulders and he was wading through the flooded streets and the water flowing into the. Into the sewers and coming out of the sewers. And then according to legend, and I don't remember this, but I've been told this so many times, according to legend, I was on his shoulders when he accidentally fell into an open manhole. And anyway, see, it can happen to anybody. Could happen to anybody. Anyway, so I. I just remember that is like this epic adventure I had with my dad. And I remember that he was saying the whole time how brave he was or how brave, how proud he was that I was brave. You know what I mean? And the funny thing is I've. It. I've. Because of him telling me that. That's just been part of my personality, I think. You know, the fact that he said, you're so brave, you know, I'm so proud of you because you're so brave. Like, it's just something that I've always just take. Took for granted of myself, that I'm. I'm. I'm a brave person. Like, I do brave things, I take risks. You know what I mean? And I love that. I think it goes back to that incident where he kept telling me. I remember him telling me, you know, you're brave. So anyway, I love that. Good memory. [00:46:28] Speaker B: I love that story. So tell me now. [00:46:31] Speaker A: Okay. [00:46:32] Speaker B: You're spending time with grandma, both parents at work, and then they welcome their second child, which is the Blob we had to take out of that picture. [00:46:39] Speaker A: All goes downhill from here because then the blob came and we needed to move. And I was go. I was kindergarten age and they weren't gonna. They wanted to send me to school at this Catholic School in the suburbs, near west suburbs. So we moved to Forest Park, Illinois, in around 1977, and that's when it all started to go downhill. [00:47:05] Speaker B: So the couple had two more girls after that. One in 1978 and another in 1980. [00:47:11] Speaker A: That would be you, little Jilly? [00:47:12] Speaker B: That would be me, yeah. [00:47:15] Speaker A: No, You literally look like a monkey. [00:47:23] Speaker B: Okay. To describe this picture to you, Jennifer is sitting in a wicker chair holding a very large monkey. That's probably. I literally, for sure, for sure, is not even a year old. [00:47:38] Speaker A: Like, it's a blonde monkey, but it's also kind of bald. You know, it's got, like the baby hair. [00:47:44] Speaker B: And it looks shocked. [00:47:46] Speaker A: It looks shocked in a dress. It's not a monkey. It's Jill. It's you. You. But you just. You look. You have the strong resemblance of a big baby monkey. I don't know. [00:47:59] Speaker B: I'm a big primate, I'll tell you that much. [00:48:01] Speaker A: My toddler photo is more alarming than this. You look like a cute little monkey. [00:48:06] Speaker B: I legit look like a monkey. Like, not even kidding. Look like a monkey. Like, that is a monkey. [00:48:11] Speaker A: The funny thing is you did not want to sit still for this. I remember that. That's why I'm laughing, because you are, like, shifting around. You didn't want to sit still. I don't even think you're 11 years old yet. [00:48:20] Speaker B: But I'm not. That's why I'm such a big baby. Like you were at least a toddler. Like, you were like a toddler. I'm like, you're a huge ass baby. I do want to. You're cute. [00:48:32] Speaker A: You're cute. [00:48:34] Speaker B: I also want to say that I had to AI. Exit out other siblings from this picture again. So that's why my. My right hand looks a little off. Like I had very small right here. [00:48:47] Speaker A: It looks like you have a tiny hand. You're terrible at this. Oh, my God. [00:48:52] Speaker B: You have a. Oh, no, I'm not professional. I'm not professional when it comes to video editing, but here we are. [00:49:00] Speaker A: Or photo editing. Oh, my God. Miracle. You have a normal right hand. Okay. Oh, my God. Not. Not that there's anything wrong if you don't have. No, you don't have fully developed hand. That's not. [00:49:13] Speaker B: We're making fun. [00:49:16] Speaker A: We're making fun of Jill's lack of skill in the photo editing department, which is hysterical. [00:49:22] Speaker B: But I did not touch my monkey face. Oh, my God. It's all me. [00:49:25] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Yeah. Just let's suffice to say we moved in the Forest park house. And things started going downhill because dad continued his. His pattern of cheating on his wife. Only now his wife was mom. [00:49:41] Speaker B: They. [00:49:41] Speaker A: They did get married when I was a baby. Had all these kids. We're living in Forest park, and. Yeah. And it was not fun. [00:49:51] Speaker B: Can you tell me a little bit about the realization when you were a kid that things were not fun? [00:49:58] Speaker A: Do we have to. I was just gonna kind of not talk about that. So there was this moment in time where I remember we were in the Forest park house. We had moved in recently, and I was helping dad with the. The yard work, and he was mowing, and he was putting the sprinkler on, and I was helping him. And mom was inside doing the inside stuff. You know, the laundry, the cooking. And the radio was on, and the song Sunshine on My Shoulders was playing by John Denver on the radio. And I remember the radio. It was a rectangular box, you know, with the. The round speaker in the front, and it was plugged into the side of the house, and it was playing. And for a moment, it just hit me. It just hit me. It was like. It was like I. My higher self sent me a message. And the message was, don't hang on to this, because things are about to change. And I just started crying. I just. I was just standing there, and all of a sudden I knew that things are about to change. That even though I was happy right now and dad was in my life and acting like dad doing dad things and mom was doing mom things, that everything was about to change. And I just started crying. And I remember him coming up to me, like, holding a rake. He was holding a rake. And he's looking at me. He's like, are you crying? And I was like, yes. And he knelt down. He's like, why are you crying? And I. All I said was, I don't know. I don't know. And I remember John Denver playing, and then mom. I remember her looking out the. Like, opening the door, being like, what's going on? You know, just to make sure I was okay. And her saying, jim, what'd you do to her? And he's like, I didn't do anything to her. And I was just crying. But that is the earliest. The earliest realization that I had that was, I think, from spirit. You know what I mean? [00:52:00] Speaker B: No, I was going to say this is the earliest that you can recall having a psychic impression. [00:52:05] Speaker A: Yes. Although I wouldn't have called it that then. I was just confused. But I had a. Knowing that things are about to change. And that this happiness was not going to last. Which, by the way, not very helpful. Not helpful. [00:52:19] Speaker B: Okay. Well, I, I, I, Yeah. [00:52:22] Speaker A: Right. But it still happens. It still happens. How many times do you and I, like, still to this day, like there's an experience we have a sense of knowing and yet it's like, it's unclear. It's unclear what's going to happen. [00:52:37] Speaker B: Right. [00:52:37] Speaker A: Something's gonna happen. Great. What is it? [00:52:39] Speaker B: I think the point is, is that knowing, knowing that something's gonna happen, whether it be in context good or bad, it's knowing that doesn't matter. It's, it's supposed to be. Yeah. You know what I mean? [00:52:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:52:53] Speaker B: Okay. [00:52:53] Speaker A: Right. Yeah. [00:52:54] Speaker B: So at, so Dad's doing, Dad's doing the dad thing. He's going out with these other women. Mom's unhappy. She's crying a lot. She worked a lot downtown. She was just, she was the breadwinner, not only for us, but she was the breadwinner and paid child support for Kim and Chris on Dad's behalf. Because dad was working as a Keebler elf. [00:53:21] Speaker A: He was a salesman for Keebler. [00:53:24] Speaker B: Yes, he was a salesman for Keebler and he was not making much money. But eventually he would create Jarvis and [00:53:31] Speaker A: Associates and do very, very, very well during the course of their eight year divorce. He was, he was driving fancy cars, he was living in very posh apartments, he was, you know, wearing expensive suits. [00:53:52] Speaker B: And hence the beginning of the end, the eight year divorce. Even before I was born, before little monkey baby came into the picture, there was a disintegrating quality to the marriage. Right. [00:54:07] Speaker A: And our entire life was disintegrating because mom had to work three jobs and dad wouldn't give any child support. And it was this awful time where the house just kept getting more and more and more destroyed because once something broke, it was just broke forever because we couldn't. [00:54:25] Speaker B: And we were, we were big kids. And I remember always being told to go easy on the furniture. You know what I mean? Go easy on the furniture. [00:54:35] Speaker A: You and your siblings would climb on the furniture, like literally climb on the hutch until it fell. [00:54:42] Speaker B: I don't. [00:54:42] Speaker A: And then it broke. No. And then the dining room table broke too. [00:54:46] Speaker B: Monkey. Jennifer. I'm a monkey. [00:54:50] Speaker A: We broke everything. We broke the beds. [00:54:54] Speaker B: We. [00:54:54] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, everything. We just, we couldn't have anything nice. We destroyed everything. [00:54:59] Speaker B: Our mother. Our poor mother. [00:55:01] Speaker A: Our poor mother who was either sleeping or at one of her three jobs. Yeah. Okay, so moving on. That time sucked. [00:55:08] Speaker B: Yes. Okay, so mom was depressed as. Yeah. That was a bad time. [00:55:15] Speaker A: Dad had a bunch of. A string of. A string of different mistresses. [00:55:21] Speaker B: Gross. [00:55:21] Speaker A: Some we knew, some we didn't. [00:55:24] Speaker B: Some were our godmothers, some weren't. [00:55:29] Speaker A: And then finally in 1989, almost on the heels of the divorce being finalized, 1989, dad starts getting investigated for his fraud. For his fraud scheme, [00:55:47] Speaker B: for his embezzlement. Taking money for from people and not paying it for insurance. He was just pocketing the money, Right? Collecting the premiums and not providing insurance benefits. Jennifer, you see dad for the last time. [00:56:03] Speaker A: I do. He came to the house. Do you remember this? You weren't there. Oh, my God. This picture. This is right around the time we are looking at a picture of your holy communion. [00:56:14] Speaker B: You not my wedding. And again, I want to say that I had to. I had AI out some members of our family. So that's why dad is wearing a technique like two different colors. [00:56:31] Speaker A: You are terrible at photo edit. It looks like he's wearing a shrug. Why is our father wearing a shrug? A black shrug on top of his gray suit. [00:56:41] Speaker B: Look at my left hand. Looks like a blow up. Like now I over made my left hand. It looks like a glove that someone like blew up. Anyway. All right, Kim looks. [00:56:51] Speaker A: You're holding a book. You look like a young bride with your ears. You look like a young child holding a bouquet. You look like a child bride because you're humongous. You're not. You were. See, you know what? [00:57:05] Speaker B: Okay. You're seven years older than me and I'm at your collarbone. [00:57:09] Speaker A: You would understand how big Jill was if we had the context of her other classmates who came up to her shoulder, bottom left. [00:57:18] Speaker B: Dad's hip has a classmate of mine in there. [00:57:22] Speaker A: Yes. And he comes up to, like I said, your shoulder. So, yeah, so that's Jill. I'm sure I did your hair. I'm positive. I'm positive. [00:57:30] Speaker B: Almost positive. [00:57:31] Speaker A: Okay. And so we have. We have Jill. And behind Jill is me looking annoyed. [00:57:38] Speaker B: And that's a dad face. Can you tell that Jennifer is making the dad face in that picture? [00:57:43] Speaker A: And I. That is my signature bang style. Me, you and all of our sisters rocked that very bang style. Bald, a lot of hairspray and a curling iron. [00:57:55] Speaker B: Speaking of sisters rocking a very. A very bang style. [00:57:59] Speaker A: Yes. [00:58:00] Speaker B: Please tell me who's on your. On your left? [00:58:03] Speaker A: Wow. That would be our older sister Kim, who is really rocking the hate the 80s hair. Wow. I don't. We're gonna have to talk to her about her technique because it blows me out of the water. [00:58:15] Speaker B: I do love her high waisted pants and the suspenders. That is an A Rocking that out. [00:58:21] Speaker A: Love that suspender. Because I think you aied the other suspender out. [00:58:25] Speaker B: The other one, the other one looks like she's wearing half a. A sweater. [00:58:29] Speaker A: But this is very. This is not long before he left town. And so you can just. I mean, looking at his face, he looks stressed out. [00:58:38] Speaker B: Show does. [00:58:38] Speaker A: He looks stressed out. He looks tired. He. You see the, the circles under his eyes? It actually makes me feel really sad looking at this picture. And I'm just annoyed because he was annoying back then. [00:58:52] Speaker B: So, Jennifer, dad comes over the house. You see him for the last time. What happens? [00:58:57] Speaker A: He's like, so I'm going away for a while. And I was like, okay. Like I never saw him anyway. You know, the divorce was eight years long. I saw him on the weekends sometimes. It's like, this is news. Like that was my attitude, you know, And I'm like, okay. And he did, he, he never said he was never coming back, but he's like, it's going to be for a while. And I'm like, okay. You know what I mean? And he. Check that. Got it. Yeah, check that. And then he wanted to talk to our mother and he talked to our mother and then he left. And it was, it was. That was it. That was it. And I did not know that that was the last time I was ever going to see him. Had I known that, had I known that, I probably would have said more and I wouldn't have been so dismissive of him. But it was on the tail. [00:59:43] Speaker B: It was annoying. [00:59:44] Speaker A: A very difficult period where he was playing games, you know, with money and we were really suffering, you know, I mean, the church was bringing us food. [00:59:55] Speaker B: True. So the irony in that is that dad got away, never been caught by the FBI. [01:00:05] Speaker A: Correct. [01:00:06] Speaker B: With the help of our mother. [01:00:10] Speaker A: True. [01:00:11] Speaker B: It was mom that arranged our Uncle Jerry to sell dad's things and to send him the money. It was mom that facilitated the sale of a certain engagement ring to another woman and gave dad the money for it. Without our mother's help, our dad would not have been successful felon. [01:00:34] Speaker A: Correct. Correct. [01:00:37] Speaker B: Talk about complicated life. My goodness. [01:00:39] Speaker A: Not only that, but if any of you out there have seen this man, please contact us because we would really like to know what happened to him. But we. [01:00:50] Speaker B: Yeah, no kidding. [01:00:51] Speaker A: But we did talk to our brother and sister, who are obviously older than we are, and we were like, what do you remember about dad? Like, what was he like? You know, because he was more than just a felon. Dad was a great storyteller. [01:01:09] Speaker B: Although what he did put the fun and felon. [01:01:14] Speaker A: Okay, Ms. Dyslexic, I don't think there is a fun and felon. Oh, what's happening? What are you doing? You have too much control with. With this video stuff. Okay, so dad was a great storyteller. He knew how to tell stories. And I remember being in the car begging him to tell us stories, and he would always come up with a story, and it would oftentimes have a witch in it, which is funny. [01:01:39] Speaker B: I love that. [01:01:40] Speaker A: Oh, my God. Dad was very protective of us. [01:01:46] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [01:01:47] Speaker A: Okay, so you have to tell some stories because he sometimes if he thought that someone was being rude or disrespectful to his daughters, he lost his freaking mind. [01:01:57] Speaker B: He lost his bro. I swear to God. So we. Like, this is one of. I have this memory seared into my mind, and dad's driving the car. Jennifer's in the front seat. Me and two of my sisters are in the back seat. I'm in the the back behind the passenger. And we are at a red light, and there are two teenage boys that cross in the crosswalk in front of the car. And one of them is eating a half a half watermelon with, like, biting into it. And, like, just, like, it's getting everywhere, right? And he looks at the car and does this upset, obscene gesture with his tongue to the car that we're sitting [01:02:38] Speaker A: in because he took a bite of the watermelon. He's full of, like, watermelon juice all over his face. And he makes an obscene gesture with his mouth towards the car. And we're at a red light, and what does our father do? [01:02:51] Speaker B: Our dad blows the red light, turns the corner, gets out of the car, grabs the kid by his collar and is pointing and yelling at him in his face. And he gets back in the car, and we're like, dad, what did you say? Like, dad, what the. Dude, dad, what did you say to him? [01:03:10] Speaker A: What did dad say? [01:03:12] Speaker B: I said, hi. My God. I will never forget that. I was like, what? Because I've never seen, like, I've gotten in trouble by dad before, but not like that. Like, he was unglued. [01:03:26] Speaker A: That was. That was extreme. But there was another time when he had taken us to our favorite park in Oakbrook. [01:03:35] Speaker B: It was really. We called it the wooden part, called [01:03:37] Speaker A: it the wooden park because it had this huge wooden structure. You always got slivers, but it didn't matter. It was so fun. It was such an adventure. Anyway, so we were at the wooden park, and at this point, I was. I was very sensitive. Sensitive and emotional. And here I am with my three younger sisters. I'm at the park. My dad is reading the book in the car, whatever. And there are some. I don't know if they were middle schoolers or whatever, but there were guys who were hanging out by this park district building. You know how they have the buildings in the park and they were hanging out and they were, like, just cutting up and like. I don't know what they were saying, but at one point they were, like, laughing and. And I understood that they were making fun of me or us or whatever. And so I start crying, and I just turn around and I walk back to the car, and I'm saying, why does everybody make fun of us? [01:04:33] Speaker B: Okay, I could answer that question in so many ways. [01:04:38] Speaker A: What happened, Jill? [01:04:41] Speaker B: Once again, dad hulks out, chases down these children, Chases down these children. He gets the chubby one. He gets the chubby one on the. He chases down the kids on the bikes, and he catches up with the chubby one, slowest one. [01:04:57] Speaker A: And. And then he. Our father grabs this kid's bicycle and throws it up onto the park district building roof. And so now this kid is, like, looking at the roof like, what the. Man? And you know what the funniest thing was? They probably weren't even talking about us. [01:05:17] Speaker B: Jennifer. [01:05:19] Speaker A: I owe somebody somewhere, I owe someone an apology, because they probably weren't even talking about us. But, oh, my God, dad justice. [01:05:33] Speaker B: That is a good example of dad justice. What's another good example of dad justice? [01:05:39] Speaker A: So our sister Kim told us about this one. And I remember this now, that she was. She. Oh, there she is. Kim and dad. Another fine photo later in the 80s. We were in the car together, and Kim was in the back seat, or maybe she was in the front seat, I don't remember. But she's like, hey, do you want to see a rose garden? And of course I say yes, because she's my older sister, five years older than I am, and I looked up to her. So she's like, give me your hand. And then she proceeds to do this bullshit thing where she, like, she pinches and scratches and. And. And at the end of the day, she screwed up my arm. You know what I mean? It was one of those. [01:06:18] Speaker B: She hurt you? [01:06:18] Speaker A: Yeah, she hurt me. And so I start crying, and I go, dad, look what Kim did to me. And he goes. He goes to Kim, let me see your arm. And Kim puts Out her arm, and dad punches her in the arm. That's while he's driving. So it wasn't like a. Like a bill. [01:06:36] Speaker B: It's like an eye for an eye kind of situation. Like, calm down, dude. [01:06:40] Speaker A: Seriously. But she hit me, too. She pinched me. She scratched me. She pounded on it. But anyway, so dad Justice. [01:06:47] Speaker B: Dad Justice. Classic. [01:06:49] Speaker A: Classic. [01:06:49] Speaker B: So dad justice for me. I recall I was in the store venture. It was a superstore back in the day. And I found on the floor a stamp. Like, it was a little blue stamp, and it, like, had a cap on it. And you take it off and then you, like, make a stamp on your hand. Like it's an ink stamp, you know? And my sister, one of my sisters wanted it, and I was like, no, it's mine. And she told my dad that I stole it from the store, which I did not steal it. I found it on the floor. I did not steal it. It was on the floor. It was unspoken for. Anyway, so dad takes me back to the store, and of course, I am bawling. And he takes me to, like, the service desk. And he's like, tell him. [01:07:34] Speaker A: And I was like, I found this stamp on the floor and I took it. [01:07:40] Speaker B: And the woman just feels so bad for me. She's like, oh, honey. And she was like, it's okay. And he looks at her, and I was crying. And so he's like. So that did not have the effect that he wanted it to have. So he unlocks the side. The driver's side of the door of his white car. And I have to crawl over the seat to get into the passenger seat because he didn't open up my door. And as I was crawling over the seat, he hits me in the ass. [01:08:09] Speaker A: That was his signature move. He would always be stealthy about it. He would never just, like, be like, come here, I'm going to give you a spanking. He would always like. [01:08:16] Speaker B: He never wanted to look you in the eyes when he did it. [01:08:18] Speaker A: He would wait until you least suspect it and then swat you. Anyway, I feel like this is going a little long and we should probably wrap things up, don't you? We're already on an hour and nine minutes. [01:08:31] Speaker B: No, no, keep going. [01:08:33] Speaker A: Really. All right, what else do you want me to talk about? [01:08:36] Speaker B: Classic dad. Quick. [01:08:38] Speaker A: Classic dad. [01:08:39] Speaker B: Classic things. If you hear or things that you see that brings dad to mind. Tell me. [01:08:45] Speaker A: Whenever I walk into a store, I immediately hear in my head, don't touch anything. [01:08:52] Speaker B: Correct. When you are walking in a public space, in a parking garage or On a bridge. And there is a railing there. And do you touch it? [01:09:02] Speaker A: You do not. And if you do, you immediately hear, now look at your hand. Now look at your hand. [01:09:08] Speaker B: Thank you. Okay, now, classic dad, Christopher. Our brother, little Chris, he gets in trouble at school for not having his shirt tucked in. Okay. [01:09:17] Speaker A: I love this photo. Oh, my gosh. Yes. That. We are looking at our father and our brother Chris sitting on a couch. I don't know where. Dad's holding a beer even though he never drank. Yeah. [01:09:29] Speaker B: That's for show. Anyway. So cute. Dad. Dad goes into the school because Christopher gets in trouble because Chris will not tuck in his shirt. [01:09:38] Speaker A: Right. [01:09:38] Speaker B: In his uniform. [01:09:39] Speaker A: And he goes to Catholic school. He goes to Catholic school. [01:09:41] Speaker B: So dad shows up at the school with his shirt untucked. [01:09:45] Speaker A: Yep. [01:09:45] Speaker B: To prove a point. And then Chris was all like, yeah, dad, that's cool. You know? And he was like, tuck in your shirt. Anyway. Okay, next. [01:09:57] Speaker A: So our father was very into. Into exercise for. For a period of time. And he would do these outrageous, outrageous stunts in. In our opinion, like running, jogging from our house in Forest park to our grandmother's house, which was on the south side of Chicago, which was 12 miles away. 12 miles. And he was not. He would jog sometimes, but he was not a train. He was not training. Do you know what I mean? He should not have been running that amount of that distance. Aside from that, it was also. He was running through bad neighborhoods, like, dangerous neighborhoods. I remember this one time, he had jogged from grandma's house to our house. And I. I remember him. I have this memory of him crawling through the house to go up the stairs. And I was like, dad, what happened to you? And he just turns his head and he looks at me, and he goes, look away. I don't want you to see your father cry. And I was like, mom, what's wrong with him? She's like, he's fine. [01:10:58] Speaker B: Oh, okay. That's a great story. But why are we talking about dad? Even though he wasn't a spiritual kind of influence in our life, why are we talking about. [01:11:10] Speaker A: Because he was intuitive in a way. He knew how to sell. He knew how to project his energy to make him. To make him appear a certain way to others. And I think he used that in his sales. And I also think he used that to deceive people. What do you think? [01:11:32] Speaker B: Agree. Totally agree. He used his powers for evil, not good. [01:11:37] Speaker A: Yes. [01:11:37] Speaker B: He was a natural empath with his ability to sell into Swingle. [01:11:41] Speaker A: Swindle. [01:11:42] Speaker B: Swindle. [01:11:43] Speaker A: Yep. [01:11:43] Speaker B: And used his Abilities to do just that. [01:11:46] Speaker A: Yep, yep. [01:11:47] Speaker B: The legend is he could sell ice to an Eskimo. [01:11:52] Speaker A: I will also say that we. We really don't know whatever happened to our dad. We don't know. [01:12:00] Speaker B: No, we don't know. Again, if you see this man, please email us common mystics gmail.com. [01:12:05] Speaker A: but what we do know is we both believe that he has passed on. Yes, we believe that. And in fact, I believe he's made himself known to us in spirit. Yes. In recent years, is there a. A significant moment that that was made aware to you that dad was coming through to you? Yes. Tell us about that. [01:12:34] Speaker B: One of. See, I did not. You guys remember I was eight when dad left. So I did not know that. The story about dad running from grandma's house to our house in Forest park didn't know that until like last week. Literally last week when Jennifer just pulled that out of her ass and she was like, you didn't know that? I was like, no, I didn't know that. But anyway, I was training for a half marathon that I ended up running and it was. I was really worried about it. I was. I had to run and constantly practice and I was. I told Jennifer one day I'm like, I'm not going to be able to make it. I'm going to shit myself or I'm going to like not going to be able to make it. So I literally had like three Emodum that morning of. But I did make it. And I ran the entire Way. All 13.1 miles. Yes. [01:13:22] Speaker A: So impressive. [01:13:23] Speaker B: Yes. And I was cramping and I had to like throw myself on the ground afterwards because that's what happens when I get dehydrated. But anyway, that day I was going to our general store in Banfield, Michigan, and I walk in and. And dad's favorite song was playing Don Williams, Good Old Boys Like Me. And the thing is about that song is never in my life. This is the only time that I ever heard it randomly. If I ever heard that song, it's either because dad was playing it or I was playing it or one of my siblings were playing it. Never. Do you hear that song on the radio? I even wonder how many people know what song that is. But it's Don Williams, Good Old Boys like me playing. [01:14:04] Speaker A: Did you have the awareness of our father at that moment when you were in the store and you heard that song? [01:14:09] Speaker B: Come on. I said out loud. I said out loud. I'm like, oh my. I go, this is good old boys like me. And I turned to the woman at the register, she's like, uh huh. I was like, this is my dad's favorite song. And she's like, yeah. And it was the same day I ran the half marathon. So I know he was saying that he was proud of me. [01:14:23] Speaker A: Aw. How does that make you feel? [01:14:25] Speaker B: It makes me feel good. I like that dad was proud of me. And I literally did not know that dad was like, that story means so much more this week because last week I didn't know it. [01:14:39] Speaker A: Yeah. And dad comes to me as a bald eagle. You and I were together when that sign was established. We were headed towards our brother's house in Kansas. Right? Yeah. And you were looking at eagles. Remember? You were gonna. We were shopping and we were looking at eagles, and not real eagles, but, you know, eagle sculptures. And in the car there was a bald eagle. Right, right. And we just had the awareness that that's dad. Right. And then last week when you were working on this outline, I was on my trail with my husband. We were taking a walk and I look up and there's a bald eagle overhead. And I knew that he was coming through. And I think he's happy that we're talking about him. Even though we're not painting him in the. In the best light, we're painting him in an honest light. And we've. We learned a lot. I mean, we wouldn't be who we are, we wouldn't be the strong, independent, confident, resourceful, unstoppable women we are if we didn't have this experience with our father, who is not a very good father to us. I'm just going to put that out there. He was absent and he did a lot of damage. And yet we. We know a bullshitter from a mile away. [01:15:56] Speaker B: He taught us how to spot inconsistent behavior and how to use your charm. Yeah, he taught us that. And we've. I mean, we do that. I mean, seriously, when we're floundering around doing common mystic stuff and we get in trouble or like, I'm not. Which happens a lot. Yeah. Like, I'm not afraid that something serious is going to happen to me because of my, My. My white privilege, but also my charm. [01:16:25] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [01:16:27] Speaker B: Like, I know that I can be like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry, I didn't. [01:16:30] Speaker A: But also in interacting with people, we can spot when someone's being insincere. We can see when someone is putting up the facade of their energy to, you know, what we see through the charm when someone is lying, because we've seen that too. Modeled for us. [01:16:47] Speaker B: I have never. And I work in sales for a living. I've known a lot of people that people say, like, this person's a master manipulator. This person's a master. Never have I met someone better than my father. [01:17:03] Speaker A: That is true. [01:17:04] Speaker B: That is never. [01:17:05] Speaker A: We were taught by the best. [01:17:07] Speaker B: We were taught by the best. [01:17:08] Speaker A: We were taught by the best. [01:17:09] Speaker B: So we're using our powers for good and not evil. [01:17:12] Speaker A: Do you think he's proud of us? [01:17:14] Speaker B: Absolutely, I do. So real quick, before we go. Oh, yes. To tell you what. Dorsey. [01:17:21] Speaker A: Oh, God. [01:17:21] Speaker B: Dorsey Jarvis, our grandfather died alcoholic, around 54, after traveling the world on a train. The United States. The continental United States on a train. So he used to train, hop freight trains and would show off that he's been all around this. All around this great country whenever he came back. Our Grandma Bessie. Our Grandma Bessie lived with Dad's first wife for a period of time before she had a stroke and then went to a home where she spent the rest of her life. [01:17:56] Speaker A: Wow. And. [01:17:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:17:58] Speaker A: Wow. Well, way to end on a dark note. [01:18:02] Speaker B: Well, I mean, it. There's not a lot of bright spots in this story, but you are the bright spots. [01:18:10] Speaker A: And I like to think. Yes. And I like to think that Dad's storytelling ability is one of the reasons that we're such good storytellers. [01:18:19] Speaker B: I like that, too. You're. You're a great storyteller. That's why I like you always telling it. [01:18:25] Speaker A: All right, well, thank you very much for this blast from the past. Enjoyed this, and I'm so excited we're putting it on YouTube so, so unedited on YouTube for you. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you for watching and listening. Jill. What else. What else do we have to tell our listeners? Check out our website. Oh, like. Like and subscribe. Check out our website. [01:18:49] Speaker B: Check out our website, Common Mystics.net find us on all the socials at Common Mystics pod. But I just want to say that this is our first experiment with using this medium. So tell us if this is working for you. Love you guys so much. [01:19:03] Speaker A: Love you. Thank you for watching and listening. Bye. Bye. [01:19:07] Speaker B: Bye. This has been a Common Mystics media production editing done by Yokai Audio, Kalamazoo, Michigan.